Dreams

Does she know?

So let's start with who I am. My name is Stacy, I'm 13, about 170cm tall, I have silky straight dark brown hair, my eyes are blue and green mixed. Im white and obviosly a girl. I don't have siblings.

It's sunday evening and I gotta start a new school week tomorrow again , how boring!
Anyways I did a everything shower and I cleansed my face, did my skincare and then gua sha. I'm feeling clean. I go to the kitchen and make a smoothie bowl and bread with avocado on top.
I ate so now I'm gonna brush my teeth and go to sleep.

Monday morning 6.40am I wake up and put some low waist jeans and a hoodie on. I don't usually est breakfast unless It's weekend so I just do my makeup. My makeup is done and I put my perfume so now I can go brush my teeth and leave the house.

At school. I see my friendgroup and I go to hug my girls. The first class starts and I feel anxious so I go to the bathroom right away. I get my vape out of my bra and hit it.
I really gotta buy new one this doesn't do anything anymore it's burnt.

I hear my teacher yelling my name and saying to get to class. I put the vape back in my bra and go to my class. Finally it's break and I go to another bathroom with my friends and talk shit about some bitches.

The next class is about to start and I have a test so I go there.

Theres like nothing else to talk about the day it was just boring and pretty chill. I'm home and I eat some pasta and chicken that my mom made yesterday.

Suddenly I start to breath heavily and some tears run on my cheeks. I just feel powerless and tired. Its been minutes and I'm literally sobbing on my floor and I think it was because I hate myself. I get my blade and make some cuts on my wrists.
-"oh shit this burns" then the pain goes away and I do some more cuts and they are deeper.
I panick and run to the bathroom and clean my wrist. I put a bandaid on and act like nothing has happend. My mom comes home from work.
-"Hey stacy my love are you home?"
-"yeah I'm in my room"
-"come downstairs we need to talk!"
-"Okay"
What if she knows about my cutting or my vaping? Am I in trouble? I'm thinking in my head.
-"Hey so i heard that you were skipping class in the bathroom, why?" My mom asks and looks worried.
-"Im sorry I just don't like the teacher"
-"I already know that, is there something you wanna talk about?"
-"no its alright mom, I wont skip anymore"
-"okay, I love you"
-"love you too"
I go to my room and feel bad that she thinks I'm not okay. And obviously I'm not but I don't want her to worry about me.