Dreams

I think you need to see a therapist

It's been two days from the mommy worry thing and I don't even wanna talk about it.

I have school tomorrow and we are having dinner in about 10-30 minutes and I don't want to eat. I don't need food and I want to look thin and pretty.

"Honey dinner is ready come downstairs!"
"I'm not hungry actually mom. "
"But you've barely ate anything today?"
"I ate at school so it's okay"
"Okay, if you say so!"

Obviously I was hungry and I did not eat at school but I decided to loose a few kilos.

The next morning.
Mom was at work and she goes to a work trip for the rest of the week so I can be home alone.

I went to school and one of our classmates looked a little too good today and I have his snapchat so I snapped him in our class, he snapped back. His name is Jacob.

I went to talk to him at our last break and he seemed happy and a little in love. My mind was in love. We talked a bit and I invited him over to my house.

We skipped last class together and went straight to my house. We got to know eachother more, because we had not talked in like 8 months before today.

So a little about Jacob. He is 187cm tall, pretty brown eyes, he has an older brother but Jacob hasn't seen him in years, he also has a mom and a dad. Lets not forget his cute dog, Chip!!

So we drank a little of my moms alchohol and we started to cuddle out of nowhere. Then he just said:
"Sorry I'm saying this just now but I an kinda in love with you."
Like WHAT????
I answered:
"Yeah I'm kinda in love with you too."
He looked at me with those eyes and I loiked at him too.
We went to my bedroom and he took my shirt and pants off. He took his own too. We kissed kissed and kissed....
I thought I was seeing a dream.
Oh shit! I just realised he is going to see my cuts. Well he did. But he just smiled at me and didn't say anything.
So back to the... thing... I took my own thongs off and he his boxers. He said to turn aroubd and he fucked me from behind. Through the whole sex he was in control not me. But once he put me on top of him and then he came onto my stomach..... 

Btw sorry if I told too much but this was my first time sex and I literally lost my virginity. We stopped for a while then we did it again...

After I went to shower and he waited in my room so he can go too.

"Oh fuck!" I accidentally said out loud.
"Is everything okay??" Jacob asks.
"My cuts burn. I can say it cause you anyway saw them"
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Don't worry!" I say.

We both showered then sat on my bed and he asks me:
"Why do you cut yourself?"
"Well umm, that's a way I can get through my mental things in pain."
"I don't get what you mean but I'm sorry."
"Yeah it's hard to explain."
"I think you need to see a therapist."
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
He literally just said that.
"Why the fuck would I need to see a therapist I'm not ill!!"
"Sorry I just though it would be good to you to talk to someone."
"No."
"Okay"
"Should we make some food I'm really hungry?" Jacob asks.
"No I will starve myself to the day I die."
"Why would you starve yourself?"
"hahahah it was a joke, yes we can make like pasta or whatever." But I actually ment everything I said.
"oh hahaha okay"

We made pasta with chicken and side with some vegetables.

"Sorry I need to go to the bathroom." I say.
"Okay no worries!" Jacob says.

I throw up everythibg by putting my gingers in my mouth. Then I go back to kitchen and drink like 500ml water. And he didn't even realise anything weird.