R͟u͟t͟h͟l͟e͟s͟s͟ {Q͟u͟i͟c͟k͟s͟i͟l͟v͟e͟r͟/ A͟v͟e͟n͟g͟e͟r͟s͟}

Chapter 29: Get Over It

"Focus!" Steve yelled, sounding frustrated.

"Well, it's hard to focus when you keep yelling at me to focus!" I protested, closing my eyes again. "I don't even know how to do this crap!"

"I'm trying to encourage you. I'm your trainer," Steve said, looking confused and irritated, "And we have to hurry."

My eyes shot open, "Don't you think I realize that?" I replied, folding my arms indignantly, "I just found out that half of the people here want me to die, which is probably going to limit my time to a week, at best. It's not like I'm purposely trying to limit my powers!"

"Probably less than a week," Steve winced, "Look, I'm sorry for being so hard on you. I know you're going through a lot. But you have to master this. I'm just as frustrated as you."

"I know," I hung my head. "I'm just..."

"It's okay." He took a deep breath and touched my arm comfortingly. "You can get this. You're already improving. This time, I want you to focus on that broken sign over there. Don't think about anything else."

"Alright," I said drearily, looking at the broken sign. It read "Coffee", but I assumed at one point there had been another piece to it. Ripped wires were trailing behind it, and it was so caked in dust I couldn't tell the color. It just looked brown. I closed my eyes and took a long, deep breath. I needed to be able to do this. The sign. I tried to picture the sign, every inch of it. My hands involuntarily moved into a stance. For the first time, I could feel something as I pictured myself moving it. Power. Energy. It was coming to my fingertips. I could see the sign in my mind, moving. Rising. Even with my eyes closed... It was strange. I could feel the movement and energy of every molecule around me. My wavering confidence strengthened. I guess focusing does help a little. I could tell, I could feel the broken sign with my energy. It was moving with me. It was like I was a part of it. I shut my eyes harder, concentrating, trying to see it clearer. I drew my hands together, and I decided to test myself. In my mind, I ripped apart the sign violently. I felt the energy as it bounced to the floor, echoing, in two pieces.

I opened my eyes. It was exactly how I'd pictured it in my mind. Steve made an impressed noise, but said nothing. The sign was roughly split in two pieces, scattered across the road. A couple splintered pieces covered the road. "How...?" He asked in amazement.

"I don't even know. I did the exact same thing I did last time," I shrugged.

Steve seemed to be thinking. He looked at me strangely for a second. "I don't think you need to be trained, Strong. Your powers have just, well, shown up. Over time, well, your powers will just show up."

I hadn't really thought too much about that, and it scared me. "But what if they don't? Isn't that a risk?" I asked worriedly.

"Hey, it's not like I'm really training you. I don't know anything about your weird mind stuff. I might be able to figure out some exercises, but... " He looked helpless, "I think you can do this on your own."

Alone. There that word was again. I was tired of being told I had to things alone. "I need-" I started.

"No, you don't need," Steve stopped me, "You don't need any of us. You're an Avenger. We're a team, but if something happened to the rest of us, we'd need to be able to rely on you. Don't ask for help." He squeezed my arm and said, "You can do this on your own."

Fear started to creep up on me. "But I still don't know what to do!-" I began to argue.

"Crimson." Steve said, looking at me firmly. "Just focus. You'll be fine."

Taking a shaky breath, I bit my lip. "I... Okay. I'll try."

Steve gave me a comfortingly smile. "And, um..." His confidence seemed to waver slightly. "We're voting on whether or not they want you... here, or not. Today. In a couple of hours."

"What?" I said, surprised, my thin layer of confidence shattering again.

"Don't worry about it, though. These people are geniuses. They'll eventually see you're not a threat."

"Yeah, maybe after I'm dead!" I sputtered. "Do you think you can convince them?"

Steve hesitated. "I'll try. In the meantime... Keep practicing."

He walked off, looking distraught. I collapsed to my knees as he was gone, in the middle of the road. Lately, I'd been so easily hurt. I didn't feel like an Avenger. I used to be hard, with a terrifying backstory, but a bright future. Now... nothing seemed sure. I was probably going to die, whether by my own or by the enemy. It almost didn't even matter anymore.

And, not to mention, because I left Pietro and Wanda so stupidly, people have lost their lives and everything they loved. If I had just stayed, these buildings wouldn't be crushed. Maybe I would be dead, or an assassin for H.Y.D.R.A., but wouldn't t that be better than this? Billions possessed, thousands, if not millions dead. Yes, Wanda was cruel and she was behind the wheel on all of this, but I had set this up. Maybe they were right. Maybe I should die. It would be good enough penance for what I'd done. If only I'd known these consequences earlier, maybe...

"You're doing it again," Somebody said, standing in the shadow of the building.

"Doing what?" I asked, my voice cracking. I didn't realize I was near tears.

They stepped into the light, and I made a face as I recognized them. "Feeling bad for yourself," Pietro said coolly, walking over.

"You always manage to show up at my worst moments, don't you?" I said, looking away. "It's like you still treat me like you did at the base."

"That's because I do." Pietro sighed, "You're the exact same girl I left ten years ago. You haven't changed at all. You might have made a better mask for yourself, but you're still Evgeniya."

"Evgeniya died a long time ago." My old name felt strange on my tongue. "She was a cowardly, insecure, powerless-"

Pietro gave me a look. "What?" I defended.

"Look at yourself," He crouched down to face me. "You are insecure, powerless, and a coward."

"Is that supposed to make feel better?" I folded my arms and felt the hole in my chest expand.

"If you just have a little more confidence," Pietro said quietly, "You could do anything. Your powers grow with you. You're holding yourself back."

"But I can't do this," I whispered. "I don't want to have to be in charge. I don't want to have to hurt Wanda. I don't know any of this."

Despite my obvious self- doubt, Pietro smiled a little. "You're telling yourself this because that's what people have been telling you your whole life. Your parents. The H.Y.D.R.A. base. Even S.H.I.E.L.D., you've always been told to follow orders. If you just grow up and look around, you're ready for this. You're fluent in seven different languages. You're skilled at practically every weapon on Earth, and the weapons you haven't used you could master in minutes. You can run faster than the speed of sound. You can read people's minds. And probably more I don't even know about yet."

"Been studying up on me, much?" I asked, still feeling a little shaky.

"Get up," Pietro smiled, and grabbed my hand and hoisted me to my feet. "If I ever see you feeling bad about yourself again, I will personally удар прикладом."

"Wow, thank you," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm serious," Pietro looked at me intently, "Get over it. You have to do this. And if you keep acting like you have been, you won't be able to. When you're confidence increases, so will your abilities. Remember that."

I raised an eyebrow, feeling slightly better. "Thank you,"

"Now, keep practicing," He laughed, "Steve told us that anyone who interrupted your practicing would be murdered."

The corners of my lips lifted. I smirked. "In that case, go."

Be patient. It'll get more exciting eventually.

Btw, thank you for the reads! It makes me so happy. Almost to 5K! I seriously can't believe it. Not at all. Maybe this is all just a dream.

Vote and comment a ship name for Crimson/Evgeniya and Pietro.

~Emily <3