The Past is Forgotten

Chapter Four

Dean and I just stared at each other. Then I said. "Look Dean if we are going to do this together, then we need help."
Right then Dean knew who I was talking about.
"No.! We are not bringing Cas into this mess.'" Dean yelled.
"Dean we have no other choice. We need him, or we are both gonna die.! I'm calling Cas.!"
"Sammy please.!" Dean yelled, his voice cracked as if he was about to cry his eyes out.
I closed my eyes and began to say a prayer to Cas.
"Cas, you here? We really need you. We need your help to kill this demon. So yeah please come, we need you."
Right when I finished, Cas came. I looked at Dean and he looked devastated. I was wondering if this was all a mistake. And it was.
"Cas we don't need you.! I'm sorry but I'm not going to let you die because of us." Dean said, I could tell Dean wouldn't be able to live with himself if Cas died.
"I'm always able to bleed for the Winchester's." Cas said, with a little smirk.
I think Cas was trying to lighten the mood a little. I laughed, but Dean didn't laugh, didn't smile or anything.
"Cas.. Please.. Is there anything that could change your mind? Anything I can say?" Dean said, I could tell he was on the verge of falling apart.
"No. I'm going with you." Cas said without hesitating.
Dean looks at me and says. "Sammy can I talk to you for a minute please."
I nod my head and start to walk towards him.
"What is it Dean and can you please stop calling me Sammy. Sammy is such a kid name. So please stop.!" I say, now I totally regret saying that to him. I miss him calling me Sammy. He wouldn't let anyone else call me Sammy but him. Which was kind of cool you know. Okay back to the story.
Dean finally decided to give in, because Cas wasn't going to leave until the demon was dead.
"Fine I give up you guys can come.." Dean said, and regretting every word he said.
"Good." I say
Cas just smiles as he's getting out his knife.
This is it. I wish I had said something, something that could've changed his mind. I know I keep saying that, but it's all my fault you know. Bobby keeps looking at me like I'm going crazy, I think I am. I love Bobby he's like my dad I never had, but it's hard to breath without Dean. He protected me, he made sure that no one touched me at school and he even showed me how to get a girl.
It's so hard to focus, I can't focus.
You know when my dad was on a hunting trip, he was gone for over a month. My mom left for some guy and she hasn't come back since. I always thought she left because of me. Because I was some mistake to her. Dean always yelled at me saying. "Don't say that Sammy, that's not why."
Til this day I still don't know why she left us. I still think it's because of me.
Okay so Dean and I were in a motel or a month and my dad still hadn't come back yet. Dean always found a way to take care of me. If that meant to steal food from a gas station or to steal money from some person.
But what I'm trying to say, is that Dean always took care of me, made sure that I didn't get hurt, even if that meant hurting me. And now Deans dead because I couldn't take care of him, I couldn't protect him. I should be the one dead not Dean.