Wildflowers / Gregor Clegane

53. Fuck It. Try Again Tomorrow

Love Story / Viserys Targaryen / Alicent Hightower / POLY out now!
&
Lonesome / Sandor Clegane out now!

When you have a bad day. Give up. Go home and go to sleep, fuck it, try again tomorrow.

They were not trying to be better people tomorrow though. They were not going north. Cersei had lost too much.

"Should we leave? Not north but... i wish sandor stayed." Haezel admitted as she paced.

"Me too." Gemma agreed. "But he will come back. I know it." Gemma didnt sound confident but she kept trying to convince herself she would see her brother again.

"What will there be to come back to if they win against those things then the dragons will descend upon us all." Haezel waved her hands around as she spoke. Fear coursing through her.

"You want to leave?" Gregor questioned.

Where to run though? Casterly rock was taken over by savages and surely they would continue to ravage and pillage their way through westeros. The whole damn world.

"I have to talk to cersei."

It had been go go go since they arrived back from casterly rock. Tommen and Myrcella were both dead and haezel had not had a moment to grieve them it seemed. Cersei was crowned queen and haezel missed the days of walking in the garden with not a care. Only gregors large shadow following behind them.

Gregor was still her dutiful guard.

Haezel found cersei on the throne. She took small and calculated steps closer. Jaime was nowhere in sight. In fact haezel had not seen him in a fortnight. Could it have been that long already?

"We used to talk about everything. And now it's like I hardly know you anymore." Haezel admitted. Cersei glanced to her. " you are my very best friend, but we still haven't spoken about... tommen or-"

" there's nothing to talk about." she snapped back aggressively. " nothing."

" they were your babies." Haezel corrected.

" and now they are ash in the ground. Or at least they will be when the dragon woman comes, we all will be." Cersei agreed.

" and you're OK with that? You were OK with just giving up?"

" I am not giving up my dear friend I am excepting defeat," cersei corrected. " she will have to pry my bones off of this throne. She will have to rip this crown from my corpse, when I am dead. And if I just so happen to come back to life..." cersei smirked. "Then I will drag her to hell with me."

"Cersei this is a do you are I think we should run I think we should get somewhere safe." Haezel begged.

" I am safe. I am safe right here on my throne." Cersei corrected.

" Crumbling castles...." Haezel whispered glancing around. " who is long as I've known you you want it this fuck you said it now tell me is it worth it?" Haezel move carefully up the steps. " is it worth being on top of the world all alone?"

" I'm not alone I have you. But Jaime he fled he left me here to rot... I never want to see his handsome face again." Cersei whimpered bringing a hand to her stomach.

" are you pregnant?"

" I thought I was" cersei admitted. " I think it was just the stress of everything. I bled this morning. I saw that nonstick about us, and I want to protect my world. My world, dwindled, down to me and the baby that was never even there." Cersei sobbed out. " the baby with all I saw in the moment. You and your children or your husband I just thought about myself."

" it was terrifying. I was thinking about my little Primrose. I wasn't thinking about you either." Haezel half lied. She had thought about cersei.

"You have always been the best friend a girl could ask for. I wish things and it differently. I wish you were husband never became my Champion. I wish you stayed. Maybe things would've been better.  I know why you left and I don't blame you for leaving. I think you should leave again get somewhere safe.  But Haezel-" cersei rose from the throne. "My dearest haezel, I'm going to miss you so much this spot where I die. I'm done running. I've done cowering if this bitch wants to fight. I will give her a fight." Cersei demanded. "I will give her the fight of the life I will go down swinging I'm going to die here on my throne.... Haezel Hightower it an honor to be your friend." Tears pulled her eyes as she hugged Cersei tight.

"I love you cersei. You are the sister always wanted. I wish you would come with me, but I understand I don't like it... But I understand.." haezel blinked and the tears clouding her vision trickled down her cheeks.