8 Weeks

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter 28 - Shelly

"What do you think?" I asked Sasha, pushing my shirt up my arm to show off my new tattoo. Strength was written in script across the inside of my left bicep.

"That looks wicked!" Sasha said, running her finger gently along the script."I'm so sorry I couldn't go with you and Gaby. There was no other time I could show that house, and I really wanted the commission."

"How'd it go?" I asked as I moved up in line. We were waiting at the local deli to order our lunch. They had a killer Greek salad.

"I got it,"Sasha said with a beautiful grin. She looked gorgeous with her red hair pulled back into a high ponytail and wearing a sophisticated,yet sexy, gray pinstripe suit.

"'Atta girl,"I replied, putting my hand up for a high five.

I stepped up to the register to put in my order, then shifted to the side to wait for Sasha to put in hers.

I glanced up when the door jangled, signaling someone's entrance to the deli,and my heart fluttered when I saw it was Cal.

I took advantage of the fact that he hadn't yet noticed me, and I looked him over slowly.

He had always been the hottest guy I'd ever seen.

He still was...

He was dressed for work, so he had stains of grease scattering his clothes, and his hands had streaks of gray ... Like he'd tried to wash up, but hadn't had time to get his hands totally free of grease. I'd always thought he'd looked hot when he was working.Some people may be turned off by the mess, but not me. I'd always loved knowing that Cal was a strong, capable man who could make something that was broken, whole again.

His hair was mussed, like he'd spent the better part of the day running his hands through it, and his face was dark with the shadow of a day-old beard.

As I watched him, my body became flushed and aware, as if it was attuned to the fact that my mate was in the vicinity.

"Shit," Sasha said from behind me, causing me to jump. "You're making me horny ...You're looking at Cal like he's on the menu, and you're starved."

"Shut up," I hissed at her, but she just chuckled and yelled out, "Hey,Cal!"

I shot her a look that I hoped conveyed thatI wanted to chop her into bits, then turned and smiled as Cal walked over.

"Hey, Shel ...Sasha," Cal said when he got close enough for us to hear him. "I'm just picking up lunch for TJ and me, how's it going?"

He had a smile on his face, but his eyes looked troubled as they searched my face.

Things hadn't ended well after Craig's birthday, and I hadn't contacted him yet to let him know whether I still wanted to go out Saturday or not.I'd been able to think of little else ... but it seemed like our relationship is all I've thought about and I still had no idea what to do about it.

I loved Cal,and I probably always would, but I didn't know if I could continue to be his wife ... And I didn't know if I could continue giving him hope.

"I'm gonna goto the bathroom," Sasha said suddenly, walking off quickly to giveCal and me privacy, her heels tapping across the linoleum as she did.

"How's it going?" I asked.

"How've you been?" Cal asked at the same time.

We both chuckled nervously, him looking toward the register, while I looked around the room, neither of us meeting each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry about the other night," I said softly, running my hand through my hair with a sigh.

"Hey, what's that?" he asked, his hand coming up to touch the beginning of my tattoo.

I lifted my sleeve up to show him the word,then pulled it back down.

"Tattoo," I responded.

"I like it,"Cal said, his eyes still on my arm.

"You do?" I asked, not sure I believed him.

He must have heard the disbelief in my voice,because he looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know..." I said with a shrug. "I just didn't think you would."

He peered at me quizzically for a minute,then looked me over before a hurt expression crossed his face.

"Is that what all of this has been about?" he asked with a wave of his hand. "The piercing, the hair, and now the tattoo ... Are these all things you've wanted to do, but somehow thought that I wouldn't allow you to do?"

I cleared my throat, uncomfortable, and for some reason suddenly feeling guilty.

"Um ... I don't know, I guess," I stammered. "I've always wanted to do these things, but I didn't think you'd like it, so I never did."

"Jesus," Cal exclaimed, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "I want you to do what you want to do ... I always have. If you want to tattoo your entire body, shave your head, and dye yourself blue ...go for it. I'm not your ruler, Shelly, and I can't believe that you've ever thought that I would dictate what you could or couldn't do."

"It's not like that ..." I said, trying to explain, but the hurt radiating off of Cal was palpable, and it suddenly didn't seem like anything I'd say would help.

"It sure as hell seems like that, doesn't it. Is that what you think of me, of the last six years of our relationship?" Cal took a step closer tome, his voice low so as not to broadcast our fight to the entire restaurant. "No wonder you're so quick to give up ... I thought we were in a partnership, Shel. I've never expected you to ask my permission to do anything. I love you, for who you are, and I want you to do what makes you happy."

My heart pounded loudly in my chest, and I felt a mixture of regret and fear running through me.

"Cal, you're taking this the wrong way. Yes, I've always wanted to do the things I'm doing now, and I didn't because I didn't think you'd like it."His eyes narrowed at that, and I rushed on, hoping to make him understand. "Not because you wanted to dictate what I did or didn't do, but because you liked me so much the way I was that I didn't want to change anything. I wanted you to find me attractive..."

Cal's face smoothed out at my words, and when I was finished, he stepped even closer. Close enough that I could smell the mixture of sweat and grease on his body, and see his chocolate eyes darken as he said,"Never doubt how attractive I find you, Shelly. You were hot as hell before, and you're hot as hell now. There isn't anything that you could do to your appearance to make me not want you. I want you every minute of every day, Shelly. I promise you that."

"Cal, your order's ready," the guy behind the counter shouted out suddenly,causing me to jump.

My heart was beating rapidly and my breath was shallow. When he turned to grab his order, I stood there for a moment, trying to gain my bearings.

"I'll talk to you later," Cal said as he moved passed me toward the door.

"Cal," I said quickly.

He turned and waited for me to say what I wanted.

"Text me about Saturday," I said. He nodded and walked out, leaving me feeling more conflicted than ever.