Chapter Twelve

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Chapter 12 -Shelly

I fluffed out my hair and stared at myself in the mirror, amazed to realize that I was nervous about being alone with Cal.

I'd never been nervous around him, other than the initial butterflies when we started dating in high school; normally, Cal made me feel comfortable and at ease.

Maybe I was more worried about dealing with the pain that I felt whenever I looked at him now. His betrayal hurt, as much now as it had a few weeks ago, and I wasn't sure how I could stand to go on a date with him, knowing what he did to our marriage.

I knew that I couldn't forgive him. Not yet. But would I be able to go through with these dates? Not only did I not want to be put in uncomfortable situations, but I didn't want to give Cal false hope.I also didn't want to hurt him more than I knew I already was. Yes,he'd hurt me, but I loved him enough to not want to see him in pain.

It was an all-around fucked-up situation.

I gave myself one more glance when the doorbell rang, and shrugged. He'd said casual, so jeans and a T-shirt would have to work.

"Hey," I said to Cal when I opened the door.

He looked so handsome in the dark blue polo shirt I'd gotten him for his birthday that I had to momentarily shut my eyes and take a deep breath, to try and ease the constant ache that had taken up residence in my heart. His dark hair was mussed, and he had a five o'clock shadow. I loved it when he looked scruffy.

"You okay?"Cal asked.

My eyes fluttered open and I let out the breath.

"I'll be fine," I looked up into his dark eyes and said. "But I'd like to follow you, rather than drive together."

Cal's shoulders sagged a bit, but he nodded his acceptance of my request.I picked my purse up off the hook by the door, and closed the door behind me.

I got into my truck and turned up the radio when I heard Hunter Hayes singing about love.

I followedCal's Mustang along the familiar streets, and looked up in surprise when he pulled in to the karaoke bar that Gaby, Sasha, and I liked to frequent.

No way was Cal going to sing karaoke, I thought with a giggle. The man could not carry a tune.

When I saw him get out of his car, the smile left my face as visions of him with another woman slammed into my head.

My eyes filled and I dropped my gaze, telling myself quietly to pull it together.

I just had to get through these next  eight weeks.

"You okay?"Cal asked again as he opened the door for me.

I looked up at him, not bothering to try and mask the pain that I was sure showed on my face.

He'd put it there, so he deserved to see it.

"I will be,"I said again. I thought about adding, "In eight weeks." But that seemed like an unnecessarily cruel thing to say, so I bit my tongue.

I could tell by the frown on his face thatCal had gotten my meaning.

"Cal," I began, placing my hand gently on his arm. "This isn't a good idea.We're just going to keep hurting each other."

"Shelly,it'll be fine. Please just give it a shot," Cal pleaded.

I dropped my hand and nodded. I locked my truck and led the way inside.

It was kind of early, but I walked straight to the bar and ordered a gin and tonic.

Cal walked up next to me and asked for a beer, then turned to me with a small smile and said, "I really like your piercing."

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