Struggles of self hate And Doubt

Face

There's this face
This face I see everyday
When I wake up
I see it
I put it on
Pretending to be ok

No one will see
See the face I made
The face I showed

Only I
I myself saw what I truly was
I was unhappy
I was unkind
I hated
I faked

I pretended to be ok
No one asked questions
Even after subtle hints

No one tried
Tried to help
I sought for help
I cried
No one
Not a soul
was by my side

When I was in too deep
The face would suddenly disappear
I'd hide and put it back on
No one saw right
No one cared enough to see right
What happened

People saw
People cared
Cared about me
I saw it
At the right time
I was on the brink
The brink of dying
I found my people
The people who cared
I lost the face
Never to see it again

The day I took off the face
The face vanished
The face gone
Why did it vanish so suddenly
How could it
Just vanish

I had it for all these years
My comfort
My support
How do I feel
How do I connect
I have no idea
Then it reappeared