An Unwritten Chapter

Psithurism

It was a dark and stormy night. The rain pounded against the windows, and the wind howled like a banshee. Inside, Mia sat on her bed, crying. She was missing her ex, terribly.

She couldn't stop thinking about him. She remembered all the good times they had shared, and she wondered if she would ever find someone like him again. She felt so alone and lost.

She had been arguing with her best friend whether to text him or not, they both have been going back and forth about it for quite a while now.

They couldn't make a decision on what's good for Mia. Her friend wasn't with her when she went through her horrible times right after the break-up, they had met only recently. Her previous friend is no longer in the picture, for some reason she had stopped talking to her.

Thinking about everything that went down in the past couple of years, she stared out her window. A tree caught her eyes, it was on the edge of a wind-snap and she could heavily relate to that tree.

She opened the window and felt the string wind on her skin, it was chilling and numbing her warm thoughts, she slowly started losing herself to the psithurism.

Suddenly, Mia sat up. She reached for her phone and opened their last message.

She had sent 'ok ok', a dumb response from someone who wanted to carry on the conversation. He had left her on seen and it has been a month since.

Screw it I'm gonna text him, she said to herself but wasn't sure what to type. She let her conscience do the talking, 'I still miss you', is all that she could come up with. But that didn't sound right to her, it had been too long and she had said some hurtful things to him the last time they spoke. She could not figure out what would be the perfect thing to say, she kept coming up with various things and scenarios where whatever she said would go terribly wrong for her. But the urge to talk to him is not going away any time soon and she might as well end up going crazy.

The howling wind was not doing her thoughts any good, she knew it is useless to ask her best friend for help because she would not understand what Mia is feeling right now. 'You still haven't changed your about* huh?' That's what she typed. She blurted out some random bullshit, her desperate thoughts made her helpless. But little did she know when she hit send that it is gonna change her whole life. Minutes and hours withered away while she stared at her phone for his response. She felt her subconscious take her over when her wide eyes start drooping. They were swollen and tired with the tears they had shed the entire night.

Long before she realised, she was falling asleep, she was now under the mercy of her sweetest of memories that relayed as her dreams. Some of them were not even real, but she did not need to know that. The memories she had created for herself with her imagination were how she coped with the pain she had to go through because of the heartbreak and betrayal.

She had no memory of what exactly she had dreamt of when she woke up the next morning, but her head had stopped pounding. Her mind was clearer than the morning sky. As she does every morning ever since she got her phone, she rolled over to the table next to her bed and took her phone.

She had completely forgotten she had dropped him a text that would potentially show her as someone who stalks people without thinking twice. But for her luck, Joe was not someone who would judge a person because of a text, especially Mia. He knew her extreme mood swings a little too well to know she would text him anytime anything.

The wave of realisation hit Mia when she unlocked her phone and saw the notification, she had a message from a contact she had saved as 'BlEh'. Yeah, the imaginative brainiac saved Joe's number as if she had chugged down a whole bottle of raw vodka. She felt stupid for doing that, but that stupidity faded away when she read his message. 'So, you still have my number saved huh?' Classic Joe, she thought. There was no sign of any emotion after seeing a text from her from Joe's end. That's how he has always been, he had his own ways and that never worked well with Mia. She wanted the people around her to be expressive so that her anxiety of not understanding them wouldn't kick in.

Mia sat up, she put aside her morning routines and the fact she had to get ready for her class and continued to stare at her phone. Blank. That's how she felt, she didn't know what was happening around her now. It was as if everything had gone back to normal when it clearly wasn't. But this time she didn't want to shout at him, she wanted to try things differently, take it slow and give herself some time to adjust to his presence in her life again. Though she clearly let him in, even after driving him out last time. What was wrong with her? Truth be told, everything but nothing at the same time.

Taking her deep breath and stretching her neck, she began typing. 'Well I just saved it back last night', that response of hers was rational and genuine. Keeping track of a person through different social media were tricky, on one end you think you're being obvious on the other you're incognito. two minutes had passed since she sent the message, she didn't expect him to text back. It was early in the morning and she knew he would obviously be asleep until noon. But for her surprise, she got a response, again he was acting normal, no questions about why she had texted him again after so long or why she decided to text him after she made it clear she didn't want to last time they spoke. 'You doing good??', that's all it said. Even though it was so unusual for Mia to feel at ease, this time she did feel relaxed and easy. 'I'm alright I guess' was her response to his question, to keep the conversation flowing she wanted something strong. Something he can't ignore, 'you're up bright and early, anything new going on in your life?' was the only worthy open ended question she could come up with to ask him now. She didn't want him to see the obsessive girl he dated, but also wanted to know what he's up to these days.

Mia wasn't sure what answer she was expecting, but it sure as hell was not what he had sent her. 'Couldn't sleep at all last night, your text kept me up all night'. There it was the text she had been waiting for, a chance for her to have a conversation with him and tell him how she has been feeling lately, but in a corner of her heart a secret siren kept blaring not to fall to hard and deep again, but she couldn't resist. For some reason no matter how many people she meets, how many guys she talks to it was him she always ends up craving for. It has to be stopped somehow.

'Yeah, I've been thinking about you a lot lately, but I don't wanna explain it over the text Joe, I know it's sudden and maybe you have other commitments. But can we meet somewhere over the weekend and chat? It's been too long since we spent some time together as well.' She knew this text was risky, not because of what she is asking of him, but Joe's teasing habits. she started biting her inner lip as she waited for his reply, she developed this habit shortly after she met him which was ironically when all her problems began in her life as well. Whenever she is stressed or nervous, she would start biting her inner lips, a lot of her old friends, who are no longer friends had warned her of this habit. But it sort of stuck to her, like a security blanket, the pain she got when she bit the lips reminded her of the present and would bring her back to reality if her mind started wandering off to some alienated place.

She was slowly slipping away from reality when a sudden sound brought her back to reality. It wasn't anything concerning actually, her phone was ringing. She hated it when people called her all of a sudden, she wasn't expecting a call from anyone. But whoever was calling wasn't just anyone, it was Joe. Joe's presence in Mia's life always gave her jitters, as soon as she saw his name on the lock screen, her breathing became rapid. It was almost as if she was wheezing. The screen was waiting to be swiped, it was taunting her to answer the call.