Soak Up The Sun

Regret

October 2023

Liam and Sophie sat on the ledge of the Camden locks looking out across the scummy algae on the water. Liam had sunglasses on. He'd been recognised a few times on the way down and as a result they were sitting  far apart from one another. Liam was still keen to keep their relationship private and she agreed but it was getting more difficult.

Liam sighed.

"I don't want you to be a secret." He said quietly.

Sophie swallowed feeling her heart beat quicken.

Liam looked at her intently as he pushed his sunglasses on top of his head.

"I want my kids to know you. I want mam to meet you. I just want everyone to know. This...thing between us it's different isn't it? You feel it?"

Sophie felt her face heat from his intense cobalt gaze.

"That would be nice. You could meet my family too. Yeah. It is. But there's just one problem..."

Liam nodded.

"We should tell him properly. And not have him find out from the Internet. He asks about you all the time and I feel terrible that I can only be partly honest." She said quietly.

"He won't take it well. It'll ruin everything between you two. You'll lose everything you had with him. Once you lose his trust...that's it yer fucked."

Sophie nodded as she blinked back tears.

"I know. But I can't lose you Liam. I feel like I've maybe lost you once already...I won't do it again."

Liam looked so soft in that moment that she didn't care about being seen. She leant forwards and pressed her lips to his gently. The kiss was tender, soft and unhurried like those precious teen kisses before you discover sex.

Liam put his hand on her face gently and she leant into his familiar, rough warm touch.

"If...you're sure."

Sophie nodded.

"This is it then. Me and you."

Sophie smiled softly.

"How do we explain to our families how deep this has gotten so quick?"

Liam shrugged.

"Who cares. They don't know. I feel like I've lived a whole other lifetime with you and I'm not wasting this one. I'm not waiting around no more."

Sophie smiled and leant her head on his shoulder breathing in his comfort and safety.

"Liam...is this real?"

Liam laughed.

"I think so...yeah. It feels real."

Sophie sighed.

"But last time it felt so real...and it wasn't. That's impossible."

Liam looked down at her and smiled.

"Who's to say what's possible and what's not. Or what's real and what's not. Those dreams I have about you...when I was 21...they feel real to me."

Sophie blushed as she thought about wanting to kiss this very same man. On this very same canal bank when he was young and innocent.

"Do you think...it's psychosis? Some weird head trauma we both experienced and we found our subconscious States somehow like those terrible romantic films do?"

Liam laughed.

"Who gives a fuck if it is. Whatever force brought us together then...and now I'm grateful. Because Soph...you know I love you don't you? I know I shouldn't. I'm too old for you. Too fucked up. Too much drama-"