Nice day to be gay

Chapter 2

"Is it bad?" she asked. "nothing too bad... probably a broken nose... but it'll be fine." our school nurse answered. I sighed. "Can I still continue playing?" I asked. "No... I'm sorry but will not be able to play any time soon. At least not for the rest of the season. And you will also need to wear a cast for about the next two weeks" The nurse said. I sighed again. "Oh...ok.. Thank you" I said, and then the nurse left the room.

"Hey..." she said. "Are you alright?" she asked with a worried expression. "Me? Yeah... Yeah, I'm ok." I wasn't but I don't want her to be worried about me. "You sure? You look kinda sad you know?" she said. "Yes I'm fine..." I definitely wasn't, but I continued talking with a fake smile on my face "I'm totally fine.. don't worry too much."

And that was what it took to see her smile at me again. It wasn't like her smile meant the world to me. I mean it did but it wasn't the first time she smiled at me. She's smiling at me all the time. She smiles at me when she sees me in the hallway in the morning before our first period when we start talking about whatever happened in the time we didn't see eachother, when we are in class and I tell her something funny about a weird thing I regonised about our teacher during one of their speeches about a good behavior during class, when we are on face time in the evening to talk about whatever shit is going on in our lives, even in the silly photos she sends me of herself during the day when she has her moment. So, you see that there is nothing special about her smiling at me. But it somehow still is special.

Because whenever she smiles, it's like the world is ok again. It's like anything could happen but it will never be able to make her stop smiling. It is when the weird feeling of butterflies is there again. I'm ok as long as she smiles. I'm ok as long as she is. But that is what it means to have or be a best friend, isn't it? It's not like there is anything more than a very great ongoing friendship. I think the reason why I am feeling like this isn't because there is more than friendship going on. It's probably just the fact, that we have known each other for such a long time...

It all began when we were little. I would say about 5-6 Years old. We met in school though. Actually, our parents were the ones getting us to finally meet each other after both paires were long ago high school besties who left each other for college just to meet again when they were already having their own families. At first, i hated her. I hated everything about her. I hated that she was better in the dancing class we both went to. I hated that she was better at drawing and painting than me. I hated that my teachers seemed to love her the very first second they entered the classroom. I hated that she got better grades than me. And I hated that my parents didn't allow me to play with my own friends from school, because they wanted to meet up with her parents and they wanted me to play with her and only her so that she wasn't left out. I hated that she soon started talking with my friends and was making them into friends of her own. I hated being the third wheel whenever my friends invited her as well. I hated being left out. 

But for some reason, I got over it when time passed by. We started talking. The play dates our parents arranged weren't as bad as before. And we actually became friends. As soon as we were in middle school, we would always sit next to each other. And when our once 'friends' became some stupid bitches, our friendship improved even more and we became besties in the end. I finally quit dancing and joined the football team in our school when we were in year 7. I started improving my skills since then. And since we are in high school I was hoping to be able to play for our school team for the first time. And now I'm here with a broken nose and won't be able to play for the next few weeks. I will need the weeks after that to practise my skills even more. In conclusion, that means that I can't play for the rest of the season, which was actually necessary for me. 

But for now, that doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is her smile. Her beautiful smile when I tell her that I'm ok. I think... no I hope that she feels the same way for me. That she is only ok when I smile, and that she is only ok when I am, even if I'm faking it.

 ... 2 weeks later ...

The days were going on. Every day that went on I cared a little less. I care less about the kids in school staring at the ugly looking cast on my face. I cared a little less about not being able to play. I cared a little less about kids I didn't know judging me behind my back. The only two things I cared about were first my motivation wasn't going down by each day and that I kept looking forward to the day when I could start practicing again and second that she wouldn't worry about me too much, that I would keep telling her that I was a hundred percent ok and that she would smile at me instead of trying to talk to me.

My plans worked out well i'd say. The day I got the ugly thing away from my face was probably the best thing that ever happend to me in my life besides meeting her of course. I could finally start to practice again so that I could play in the next year. My now motivation was then also rewarded by her smiling at me again. Rewarded by the way she watched me playing and practicing and her little comments that I was truly improving and that I was looking much happier now. I of course loved her little compliments. Not because they've been charming but because I knew she meant it, because she wasn't like the others who would tell me that to handle their own life and tell themselves that they are caring and kind people. No, she wasn't like that. She wouldn't tell me such things out of nowhere. She was an honest person, she wouldn't be like these fake people who couldn't even be honest with themselves. And I know that because I know that we are each other's favorite person.

While I was having a little break I regonise something. She was smiling at me like usual, but she kept looking at that guy. A guy out of my music class also is on the team. I don't know why but I have the urge to ask her why she was keep looking at me instead of listening to me . Not that I was seelfish. It's just that we tell us everything, we practacly are living in eachothers houses. She would have tell me if she liked someone. I was a hundred percent sure that she would. But I still had that weird feeling. I just wanted to make things clear..

"Hey! Aren't you listening to me? What is going on between you and him?" I asked. "Uh...wha- I mean nothing... nothing....what were you saying though? You were talking about the coach wasn't you? You were talking abo-" she started but i cutted her of "Hey! Don't play with me! I know there is something.. You litreally weren't listening to me. Your best friend by the way. No, you were looking at him." I said and then pointed at him "why didn't you tell me anyway? Thought we tell eachother everything." I said feeling a little betrayed even offended. "We do! We do...it's just..It's just that I didn't know how to tell you...You are always judgung about the couples in class and you keep saying that those pairs  can not be taken serious because we are just to be teenagers and actually still children." she told me "Because it is. It is dumb and you shouldn't be serious about having a boyfriend in the first year of hifgschool! I don't want to play third wheel for the few months you are in a relationship and don't want you to waste your time on someone who will break your heart in the end and I don't want your heart to be broken, you know?" I said while she remained quiet.

"Whatever..." she says "Yeah whatever..." I agreed "I'll go back to practicing." i said before heading back to the field. "Ok! I'll watch you!" she called after me.