I Hate to love you (DISCONTINUED)

CH-3- I Hate myself too

(Luca P.O.V) 

Keith finally came out, drenched in sweat...

"Keith! I need to talk to you!" I yelled, as I caught him by surprise "Sure, anything man," he replied, as if he was still in shock. I just looked at him as he stared at me with his curious eyes and a wave of guilt washed over me. 

"I try not to have these thoughts, I don't want to either! but I can't seem to control them," I began "And?" "Well, were you just friends with me because I reminded you of Kris? Or do you actually like me, for me?" I had done it again, ruined my chance to become friends with him. Keith lost the light in his eyes and he looked down, with a defeated look, as if I wasn't entirely wrong. "How could you think of these things?" "That's not what I meant Keith I-" "NO! You thought I only kept you around BECAUSE YOU REMINDED ME OF KRIS?" his voice gradually became louder and louder and heavier, as if he was about to cry. "I didn't mean that Keith, just hear me out-" "I won't... I can't believe i thought of you as my friend, while you had those thoughts running through your head. Sure, I thought at first that you were a guardian angel Kris sent over for me, but then you acted like you were my friend!" 

I couldn't believe it, but it was always like that, he yells and I end up apologizing. Somehow  I am in the wrong each time. This time I will break this cycle. I'm not 5 anymore, I'm twenty. I deserve to be heard as much as he does. 

"What about you, huh?" "what do you me-" It was like our roles were switched this time "Acting like you're the main character every time, while I am the side character or best friend at most, cast me aside while you are with others, and whenever you are sad, come running to me." "Well, you are the one who abandoned me first!" "What do you think made me leave? You, that's right, I was tired of being a side character in my own story, with you always stealing the spotlight. I'm done with being a second choice. You kept on calling me your best friend, while you stayed with other people more than me. My parents got divorced and my dad died, but you don't care even in the least, do you?" Keith looked dumbfounded and just stared at me, with his eyes filled up. He ran towards me but I guess even I forgot about my condition. The room started spinning and I saw weird black spots all over the place and then... Everything became black until couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. The last thing I saw was Keith's worried eyes which were trying to hold in tears. 

(Keith P.OV)

I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together, thinking of what to say to Luca. At last, I was finally ready to come out, and so I did, all sweaty. 

I had just come out of the washroom when suddenly, "Keith! I need to talk to you!" Luca yelled, as I was about to fall backward "Sure, anything man," I replied, I was kind of nervous, not gonna lie. Luca looked at me, as if he was beaten up by crooks, only, he avoided my gaze as I tried to lock eyes with him. 

"I try not to have these thoughts, I don't want to either! but I can't seem to control them," Okay, I started getting very nervous, and I started sweating harder. "And?" "Well... were you just friends with me because I reminded you of Kris? Or do you actually like me, for me?" I wanted to say something, but nothing came out of my mouth. I felt betrayed. No- I was betrayed by my own best friend. But my anger got the best of me.  "How could you think of these things?" I shouted at him "That's not what I meant Keith I-" "NO! You thought I only kept you around BECAUSE YOU REMINDED ME OF KRIS?" I tried not to cry, but my voice was very heavy. I couldn't help but feel defeated, as if deep down, a soul had shattered. What I saw in the mirror was just a shattered copy of myself. "I didn't mean that Keith, just hear me out-" "I won't... I can't believe i thought of you as my friend, while you had those thoughts running through your head. Sure, I thought at first that you were a guardian angel Kris sent over for me, but then you acted like you were my friend!" Tell me that I am overreacting because I am. He did look like a guardian angel, I was wrong, clearly. 

It was not the Luca I knew, something happened to him in his time in Paris. That, or he had changed for the worse. This just breaks my heart, to see him change like that from that sweet, innocent little boy, to this unknown guy. I feel like only his face got prettier, but his personality became ugly from being pure. He had a literal halo back then, shining everywhere he went. 

"What about you, huh?" "what do you me-" I was confused, I have never heard Luca scream.  "Acting like you're the main character every time, while I am the side character or best friend at most, cast me aside while you are with others, and whenever you are sad, come running to me." "Well, you are the one who abandoned me first!" I tried to defend myself, but I realized it was pointless, since Luca wasn't really wrong. "What do you think made me leave? You, that's right, I was tired of being a side character in my own story, with you always stealing the spotlight. I'm done with being a second choice. You kept on calling me your best friend, while you stayed with other people more than me. My parents got divorced and my dad died, but you don't care even in the least, do you?"

If anyone saw the look on my face right now, I would have been made fun of by everyone. My eyes filled up, and warm tears streamed down my cold bare face. It wasn't Luca who became ugly, it was me. Luca wasn't trying to say he hated me, he tried to ask me for help. But instead, He got even more stressed out because of me. I backed up till my back hit the wall and, just as i realized it, I ran towards Luca. It was too late, I had forgotten, I am truly the worst friend ever. Luca just lay there, he was breathing, but it would take him at least a week to wake up again. Nonetheless, I wanted to talk to him. I swept him up and ran towards the door.  Don't worry Luca, I hate myself too. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey Guys!

Rosa is currently on vacation so we aren't gonna see art for a long time! I hope you guys liked the chapter! Do recommend our story to others! Anyways, it feels like the main ship is Keith and Luca and not Keith and Rachel... We are gonna have more ship material for it in the next chapter!!! BTW WE MADE IT TO 1000 WORDS YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

-Lara

(Word Count- 1239)