Solace | A MHA x reader

45

'You may be a villain, but I have morals'

The 9 words repeat over and over, echoing in the cold vicinity of my conflicted mind. It had been 30 minutes since then, and I've taken it upon myself to go to the balcony where a view awaits me. Towering steel and glass giants loomed overhead, their windows glowing like distant stars. The faint sounds of footsteps echoed before ultimately disappearing into the night in New York City, in these concrete jungles where dreams were built as fast as they crumbled. Even in such a view, I catch myself pondering about him. Whether everything we had done was nothing to him, whether I had even mattered to him at all. Did he really kiss another girl? Toga, for that matter? I sigh, lowering my chin onto my crossed arms laying on the balcony railing. He was my first, and I was just another one to him. What...happened to us? Before my emotions took over, the words repeated again with the image of him tending my wounds. I have morals. There was no way.

"Pathetic." I mutter under my breath. A hero? Saving a villain? What kind of joke is this? I need an answer before I leave. I deeply breathe in, absorbing the breathtaking view in front of me before pivoting on my heel and going back inside. The minute I stepped in I was once again amazed by the sheer size of the penthouse. Seriously, how rich is this man? The chandelier hung high from the ceiling as it illuminated a dark yellow ambient light just bright enough for the whole house to adopt an almost welcoming space, accompanied by the soft brightness from the moon shining through the floor to ceiling windows. Curiosity overtakes me, my feet taking control of my mind as I swiftly grab my phone and walk up the stairs to the second floor. So pretty. The second floor weren't the usual second floors that formed an entire ceiling to the first floor, but instead had a wide, open balcony-like structure that overlooks the interrupted space of the living space below. Overall, the second floor itself didn't have much, just a large bed in the middle, a bookshelf with literature books, a nightstand, a mini bar with a coffee machine...shit....this is actually quite a lot.

"Y/n?" I hear Tamaki behind me, to which I quickly turn around before being met with his figure slowly ascending the stairs. His bright red wings illuminate even more with the moonlight now shining on it.
"Hm?" I simply reply, as I lightly toss my phone to the bed and sit down at the end of the black- duvet bed.
"I thought you were sleeping downstairs, no?" He questioned before leaning his back against the wall next to the bed.
"I...got bored. I went out to the balcony and then went up here. Safe to say, I'm jealous, red wings." I shrugged, meeting his eyes before pulling away to the view outside, the same giant glass buildings staring back at me. He's so lucky.
"Nice huh?" He smiles. Did he always have dimples? His cocky energy suddenly seemed to disappear. I nodded in response, pulling my eyes away again to observe the flashing lights down below across the vast buildings.
"Would be nicer if this was my view everyday, though." I look at him confused.
"This...is your view is it not? You live here." I pointed to the glass to ceiling windows with my eyes before looking back to get an answer. His gold-brown espresso like eyes remain locked in mine.
"Where am I looking, love?" Okay, he has not changed.
"You're hilarious." I force a chuckle, leaning to the side as I rest my weight on my hand. I hear him shuffling before the side of the bed next to me sinks with his weight.
"Ask away." He blurts out, sitting laid back with his hands supporting his weight as he shuts his eyes. I turn to face him, tilting my head and furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. There was a brief moment of silence before he opened his mouth again.
"You're gonna ask why I saved you." How did he see through me?
"You should've seen it coming. You should know it too, it's abnormal for a hero to save a villain. You should've just let me deal with the injury. I would've been fine." I finally let out my thoughts. Lies. I wouldn't have been fine seeing him after what I saw. I wouldn't have been able to control my emotions if I had come face to face with someone I gave my all to, knowing they simply didn't care.
"I couldn't see you like that anymore." He interrupts my thoughts, and my eyes widen.
"Like what?" My eyes never left him.
"I know what he does to you, Y/n. Your mum- Mio tells me what he does. She's been doing it for a while and," He says before continuing.
"I just...don't think you deserve it." He finally says, still closing his eyes. I stay silent, shocked, surprised before he begins speaking again.
"Does it not bother you, Y/n? On and off love? How he kicked you that night? Called you a whor-?" I couldn't stand it anymore. I don't know what came upon me, but upon hearing the word 'kick' I grab Tanaki's shirt collar, hoisting myself on top of him before looking him dead in the eye. He doesn't flinch a bit, keeps his hands behind to the wide on the bed to support the weight of not one, but two people now.
"So what?! You just pity me?! He called me a whole yeah, physically kicked me once, twice, three times, yes. So what does it matter to you?! You think it doesn't bother me? I gave in my all, everything I had, even myself for this whole fuckass thing. If I knew I was gonna be hurt like this, I wouldn't want it." I said everything that went in my head at that moment. I will admit, Tamaki saved me. If I saw him knowing what he had done, knowing what he threw away, I wouldn't be able to control myself. It's the same thing again. I was stuck in that lab, enduring endless torture before he came and saved me. The one thing that saved me was the one thing that hurt me most. I'm not letting this happen again. I continue to clench his shirt, not letting go as I look down, my (Y/h/c)hair falling and blocking out the moonlight shining upon us in the quiet filled house. I lightly tilt my head up to see his face, his reaction but instead of him being surprised, it's me. His eyes, they weren't pity, they weren't sorrowful - just content, worried, and...almost apologetic. Not at me, but for me, and the minute I saw them, my emotions crumble under me and a tear falls to his white shirt, the wet circle quickly seeping in and forming a bigger one.
"Why...me?" My voice cracks at the second word as I scrunch up the fabric of the shirt to prevent more tears from flowing out. I didn't care if I was crying in some hero's penthouse, in Tamaki's penthouse for that matter.
"This is what I mean. I don't wanna see you like this." He carefully grabs both my wrists, one of his hands slowly sliding up into mine, his upper body still holding the both of us up.
"Did you know, I made a promise," He clasped his hands into mine, making me let go of his shirt and allow his hands to hold mine.
"I wouldn't get into your interpersonal conflicts no matter how much Mio told me about them. I promised myself I would only get involved, when you gave me the signal to."
"Maybe it was fate, and I know that you didn't give me a direct signal for me to get involved, but I knew one things for sure: I wasn't going to let you go back somewhere, where you would potentially get even more hurt than you already were." He keeps one hand in mine, the other brushing my hair out of the way before cupping the side of my face.
"A man will treat you how much you're worth in his eyes." He continues, brushing his thumb against my cheek. I shake my head, not in disapproval, but in disbelief that I was worth nothing to him.

"Let me ask you, Y/n: would you rather adjust your life without him, or lower your standards to tolerate his betrayal?" The words sink in, hitting me like bricks to my face. I slowly give in, and lay the top of my forehead onto his shoulder, his hand leaving my face and resting on my lower back as I contain my silent sobs. Why would he do this to me...why?He caresses me with the hand laying on my back in an up down motion.
I didn't care how gullible I looked, crying and taking advice from a hero like Tamaki, but I just need someone now, and if I'll be honest, I wouldn't have this situation any other way.
All of a sudden, the proximity between us seemed to be interrupted when the vibrations form my phone disrupt it. With one hand, I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and reach over to my phone to check who's calling.

Toga.

Author's note:
Oh my glop guys hello. *stirs tea and sips* I have vanished...for...a good while...BUT I'M BACK. I wanna apologize for leaving without a notice, I'll hopefully be uploading a lot more consistently and a lot more often. I have said all the sappy, sweet things in my message note so if you would like to know why I suddenly came back, you can read that! But this note is an acknowledgment to you all and your support which I could not have been more grateful for. Welcome back to Chapter 45 of 'Solace'. Thank you so so much for reading, it truly does mean a lot to me! I love you all with my whole heart. Byebye!