Lust for Life

Fingertips

"Hey Kepner! You going to the therapy circle thing?" Owen asks as he begins walking with me, charting.

"Do I really have a choice? I want to get cleared and that's the only way. I think this whole thing is bull shit. I wasn't traumatized I don't need counseling!" I announce angrily.

"You and Lexie preformed surgery on one of your coworkers! You're telling me that hasn't phased you one bit?"

"It hasn't really phased me but Lexie on the other hand-"

"Lexie what?" The brunette asks as she turns the corner, joining me and Owen.

"Um nothing," I say nervously after being cut off. "So are you coming to the therapy session right now?"

"I guess? I mean I want to get cleared but I'm not at all traumatized? I don't need therapy!" Lexie says, lying through her teeth.

"Are you sure? What about the-"

"Shut up April! Can we just get cleared and leave this whole thing behind!" She exclaims, lashing out at me before cutting in front of me and rushing into the conference room.

I follow Lexie in a take a seat next to her. She bounces her leg quickly, shaking the plastic chair she's sitting on. The nail of her index finger snaps sharply between her teeth as she attacks it with force. An older man, maybe in his 40s, walks in and takes a seat inside the "therapy circle".

"Thank you all so much for joining me. I think this group counseling will be very helpful for you guys to cope with the- mm- situation."

"You can say it. A shooting. We were in a shooting." Meredith says leaning back on her folding chair.

"A mass murder." Lexie mumbles out.

"What was that?" The counselor says leaning forward, folding his hands in his lap.

"We were a mass murder. Gary Clark killed more than four people in once location so, we're a mass murder." Lexie stand up and storms out of the conference room.

The eyes of her peers follow her out as her sister stands up, wanting to chase her down. "It's ok I got it." I say to Meredith, letting her sit back down as a bolt out of the conference room after Lexie.

She's sitting on a bench with her head in her hands, her brown hair covering her face. I plop down next to her and slide my hands between my thighs. "So." I begin. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What?" Lexie says parting her hair letting her hazel eyes stare into my soul.

"I mean the nightmares I assume you're having by the screaming I hear throughout the night. And all the time I've known you I've never known Alex or Mark to make you scream like that."

Lexies scoffs and leans back with her arms crossed. "You don't know anything about me April."

"I know what you went through. In case you forgot I was there too, doing surgery on your boy toy as he called out for the wife that left him." I say getting fed up. Why is she acting like I didn't go through the exact same thing?

"God shut up April." She says pushing my shoulder slightly. "You don't get it. You don't know what it feels like to get admitted to the psych ward by your fucking ex boyfriend. You don't know what it's like to have every single person in this hospital stare at you like you're a crazy fucking lunatic who could snap at any moment." Her head falls back into her hands with a thud. "You don't get it." I move my hand out of my legs and place it gently on Lexies back, rubbing small circles with my fingertips, trying to comfort her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask timidly, fearing the same "crazy fucking lunatic" Lexie was talking about.

"What?" Lexie snaps, raising her head swiftly, turning and staring at me. "No I don't want to talk about it! You're not my fucking therapist nor my friend even though you're so convinced you are. I don't like you April. I didn't the first day you get here and I still don't. Nothing is going to change that. Not surviving a shooting or anything!" She uses her hands to push her off bench, giving her a speed boost as she runs off, disappearing down a hallway.