A Tale of Hearts

Chapter Fifty Three

Fahad's POV:

I promised you, begum, that if you fall, I would fall with you. I didn't mean it this way. I never thought such a moment would come but here goes nothing. And so I jumped.

I reached the surface of the water in a few seconds. I felt the same icy water that I knew my begum was surrounded with right now. I tried to swim in the direction of the river. It was faster than I expected. I couldn't see her. I couldn't see anything at all.

There was no sign of Zohaib or Rubab. My heart felt empty, hollow and cold. Cold like the water around me. It carried me towards a rock and I had to stabilise myself so I don't crash against it. But was there really any meaning in saving myself now?

I couldn't see her. When I jumped, I jumped with the intention to save her but the moment my body touched the water, I realised that surviving against this current was far too difficult. Just as I wanted to give up, her laugh echoed in my head and I used my arms as a brace against the rock. I felt something crack. A rib maybe.

I had to find her. I just had to. But there was no one around me. Not one person. My body collided into a sharp rock. I coughed out loud at the sheer pressure the rock exerted on my back. Water gushed into my mouth causing me to choke.

How am I supposed to save her when I can't even save myself? The strength in my body started to leave slowly. Sheer will power wasn't helping anymore. It was cold and the water current was too fast. I felt like a doll moving without any control at all. Is that what she was feeling right now? Helpless? Cold? Tired?

I am sorry, my ice queen. 

I let the current carry my body forward and looked up at the bright sunny sky. How truly sad that I was about to drown to death on the day I finally came to terms with my feelings and my love.

Oh Allah, it looks like I will have to reunite with her in the hereafter since this one didn't work out. I hope it doesn't take that long. To see her again. I know I am saying this but can't you do something right now? Save her and me? I don't believe in miracles but anything and everything is possible for You isn't it?

All you have to say is Kun Faya Kun. Is it that hard? Nothing is hard for You. All I ask for is one miracle.

Darkness welcomed me as the fight in my body finally gave out.

A few hours later

"Abba! Abba! Woh hil raha hai! (Dad! Dad! He is moving!)" I felt something wriggling on my shoulder but couldn't see what it was. What the heck? I slowly opened my eyes but they stung so bad. Did someone spray lemon in them or something? My head was throbbing. My back was burning. I felt a weird tingling sensation on my ankle too.

"Sabeeh, idher ao beetay, men dekhta hun. (Sabeen, son, come stand here and let me see.)" The wriggling sensation was the little fingers that belonged to a little boy with big blue eyes and chipmunk cheeks. He looked six at most. He ran away from my side and stood behind a man who looked a little older than me.

I squinted at him to make out his features. The closer he got, the easier it was to see him. A dark brown beard. Very fair skin. The same blue eyes as the little boy. He wore a white prayer cap.

"Tum theek ho? Meri baaton ki samajh arahi hai? (Are you okay? Can you understand what I am saying?)" He tapped my shoulder gently and I slowly nodded my head. Was I okay? I had no idea. It was very hard to recollect my thoughts right now. "Your body was resting on a rock and my son saw you when he went to wash his handkerchief at the side of the river. Did you accidentally fall into the water? What is wrong with people these days?

And then it hit me. The picnic, the confession. Zohaib. Rubab falling from the edge of the mountain. I jumped to save her. And I couldn't.

I was very awake now.

"A girl. Wasn't there a girl around here?" I gripped the man's arm and tugged at his sleeve. I was desperate. Too desperate. Desperate for a miracle.

"A girl?" The frown on the man's face was enough to tell me my answer. I felt my heart drop. I slowly sat up and looked towards the sky. I didn't even know what to say at this point. I felt numb.

Did I just lose the love of my life? No. No. No. NO. I refuse to accept a world without her. And yet I had to come terms with it.

There was nothing in my heart anymore. Nothing. It was a hollow shell. Her smile. Her scent. Her icy expressions. Everything was overpowering my senses. I wasn't going to see her again. She was truly gone. No.

My begum, my ice queen, my Rubab was gone. The world felt so much colder. So colourless. Was it always this dull? Did the sky always look so pale? The mountains so grim?

There was a ringing sound in my ear. The man's mouth was moving but I couldn't comprehend a word as the grief of losing my dear wife finally settled in my blood. I let out the most gruelling pained cry of my life. I held my chest and roared. She was gone. Rubab was gone.

I had never experienced loss in my life. I didn't know it was something so cruel. My body was fighting against itself. I wanted to keep screaming, I wanted to scratch my chest. I wanted to punch the rocks. I wanted to jump back into the river. To go find her. I got on my fours and started to crawl back towards the river. Rubab. I need to find her.

"Are you drunk? Why are you crying and crawling like that?" Something slapped the back of my head. Not something.

Someone.