Vampires in Las Vegas

What where we thinking

EPOV

We stumbled into the room in record time. We had places to go and things to do. As we entered the room I noticed three boxes sitting on the table from a store called Daddy O's. Emmett and Jasper looked just as confused I was. Alice strikes again...

Emmett picked up the one with his name on it and held it to his ear like he was listening for the ticking sounds of an explosive. He peeked and slammed it shut quickly, just in case any living creatures were going to jump out. Having psyched himself out totally, he turned to Jasper. "Just open it. You know it's from Alice and she'd never harm a hair on your head. Tell us what it is!"

Jasper opened the box and pulled out a short sleeve, button down style bowling/swinger shirt that was grey with a big black stripe up at the buttons. There was also a black tank top to wear underneath. He smiled apparently happy with Alice's selection. "There's a note guys."

Just a little something for you guys to wear on your big adventure to the strip club.

I was afraid if you dressed yourselves you'd stand out like sore thumbs.

Behave...

Kisses - Alice, Rosalie and Bella

Being reassured by the note that there was no danger, Emmett ripped open the box like it was Christmas morning. He smiled as he pulled out and shirt very similar to Jaspers except his was black with a red stripe up the side. In that stripe was a picture of a pin up girl. He let out a low whistle. Very Emmett...I had to give it to Alice she was good.

I was next, and my box contained the standard tank top, and a shirt like theirs but it was mostly tan across the chest with a little bit of black visible up the sides. Alice's years of shopping were paying off. They must have been the latest in strip club chic and were far better than any choices we could have put together ourselves.

We got dressed quickly, however Emmett really liked his shirt and felt the need to admire himself in the mirror for longer than I thought healthy. He also decided to name the girl on his shirt Betty and was having a conversation with her. Just when I thought he couldn't get any stranger...

"Are we ready guys? It's time to hit the road." Emmett took one quick look in the mirror, blew Betty a kiss and gave me a big thumbs up. Jasper however, looked nervous, what else was new. He needed a pep talk and I knew if Emmett tried, he'd need to be hospitalized so I came to his rescue.

"Jasper are you ready? I can tell you're nervous but you don't rally have any reason to be. I am the guest of honor, Emmett will be looking for any way possible to humiliate me, not you! And you saw Alice tonight. She wasn't mad at you, she was really happy to see you. She told me to keep an eye on you and that's exactly what I am going to do, OK? Do you trust me?" Jasper nodded yes. "Now, I need you to do me a favor. Please, try and get your emotions under control or we are going to be surrounded by a bunch of panicky, paranoid people tonight and that would not be a good vibe for a strip club. Can you try, please?" He laughed and I knew it had worked.

I turned to Emmett. "Ground rules: Under no circumstances will I touch any of these women so don't ask me to, and don't ask them to accidentally fall off the stage and into my lap, fake and ankle sprain and topple on me or something weird like that. Second, there will be no more drinking, I just got done hacking up the drinks from ESPN and don't feel like doing that again, EVER! We keep a low profile, no calling attention to ourselves because I'm not leaving another establishment to screams of 'pervert' because of your socially deviant behavior. Lastly, when I say it's time to go we leave, no questions asked. Can you live by those rules Emmett? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

He opened his mouth to say something, but promptly shut it and held out his hand to me. "Agreed" and we shook on it. I think the rules helped Jasper feel more comfortable with the evening because the anxiety level in the room went from a 12 down to a 4. I could deal with a four...the twelve was getting to be tiring. As we walked to the door Emmett said "Grab your sunglasses too, you never know when they might come in handy!" Whatever you say Emmett...