Vampires in Las Vegas

Boys will be boys

I own nothing- Stephenie Meyer is the owner of all...

EPOV

"I can't believe they just up and left us. And with 4 unusable cars! They are two of the most conniving women ever. I would be worried about which of their evil tricks they are teaching Bella this weekend if I were you Edward. Maybe that's where they went, off to 'Evil Wife Bootcamp' " Emmett mumbled. Steam was still coming out of his ears because his beloved Jeep was incapacitated in the garage.

"My future wife could never be mean to me. She is utterly to sweet and will always stay that way no matter what Alice and Rosalie try to do." There wasn't as much confidence in my voice as I would have liked, so I threw in a low growl to back up my point.

Poor Jasper looked like a lost puppy. Alice had pulled a number on him too. He didn't like to be away from her and he was struggling to get his emotions in check. Every so often a wave of abandonment would wash across me. Usually all it took was a dirty look to make him realize what he was doing.

I was racking my brain trying to figure out what to do. I thought about calling Alice's cell and demanding she bring Bella home, but I figured she'd just yell at me or hang up and say I was overreacting again. Besides, Bella said she wanted to go so I took a deep breath and tried to let it go. Bella would be back on Sunday. She was in no danger. She was safe... with my mentally unstable sisters. It wasn't working.

Carslile and Esme walked into the room and gazed down on three of the most pitiful vampires they'd ever seen. Esme smiled "Boys, can't you just find something to do until the girls get home? Entertain yourselves, please!" She rolled her eyes at us. Carslile just chuckled and mumbled "While the cats away...." and they walked out of the room hand in hand.

"Those boys are a complete wastes without their better half . What am I going to do with them" Esme thought to herself.

"That's it!" Emmett boomed. He was off his feet and jumping on the couch. "With the girls gone let's go on a 'Guys Weekend' and go do guy things oooohhhh we could have a bunch of fun!" He was excited now and a vast array of images started flying through his brain. I was starting to get dizzy so I tried to block his thoughts for a few minutes. His face curled up into a huge grin "I've got it! I know what we can do!"

Just at that second, Jasper's phone rang. He held up a finger to Emmett to wait as he answered the phone. "Hello?" "Yes. Ok. Yes, I understand. I'll do what I can. Love you too, Bye" He placed the phone in his pocket and turned to Emmett "Whatever you just came up with forget it. Alice saw it and she said and I quote 'Under no circumstances am I to participate in what you have planned and if I do.....' well, let's just say - Edward will be getting more action than me for a while." He smiled sheepishly and shrugged. "Sorry Emmett."

"Are you crazy? Emmett boomed "You don't even know what I came up with. It could turn out to be the time of your life! All I want to do is something nice for Edward, that's it. I don't understand why Alice would object to some male bonding between brothers. This doesn't concern them. They left US. Edward would you like to have some fun?"

Puppy dog eyes flashed in my direction. They weren't nearly as cute as Bella's but I was irked at Alice and felt rebellious and somewhat abandoned so I asked "What do you want to do Emmett? I could go for some fun!"

A wave of panic hit me from Jasper's direction "You may want to hear his plan first Edward. Don't agree to anything...."

"Where do you want to go Emmett?" I asked. How bad could it be?

"A strip club." He said looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. If I could have fainted I would have. Instead, I stood staring at him dumbfounded. The phone rang again.

Without looking at it, Jasper said "Yes, I know. I'm trying. Well you made them mad Alice with the whole Bella-napping thing. I understand. OK Bye." Jasper wheeled around on Emmett "We are not going to any strip club Emmett. Alice will have my head if I don't stop you."

"Stop me? You can't stop me. Grow a pair Jasper. Alice is all of what 4 feet tall? Can't you control her? Don't let her push you around like that...." Before he could finish the sentence Emmett's phone rang. I couldn't help but laugh guessing full well who was on the other end.

"Answer it Mr. Tough guy.....come on.....you aren't scared are you" Jasper taunted.

"Hello?" his voice went up an octave " Hi Rose. Yep. Nope. OK. Bye" He sheepishly hung up the phone. Jasper and I erupted in roars of laughter. I gasped for air and said "You should see your face Emmett! If I had a camera....."

"Come on Emmett. What did you tell me to do? Oh yeah, grow a pair. Don't let her push you around like that...." Jasper was enjoying himself. So rarely was Emmett speechless we had to take advantage.

"Afraid I will get more action than you for the next century?" If I could cry, tears would be streaming down my face. Emmett started turning a strange shade of purple.

He ran upsatirs and was back in seconds with three packed suitcases. Jasper was shaking his head, steam coming from his ears. "Emmett. I know you are trying to do something nice for me...and yourself...but mostly for me and I appreciate it. But do you really want to risk the wrath of Rosalie? We can do something else...let's go hunt. You'll feel better."

"The girls aren't the only ones who can be tricky. OK so she figured out what my plan was, I've changed my mind. We are going 'hunting' that is the only thought in my brain right now - keep your smart comments to yourself- and you two better wipe any other thoughts out of your as well. We will have fun 'hunting' in an exotic location...I just keep changing my mind to where that is. By the time Alice figures out what's up, our fun will be done and it will be too late. Are you with me?" He was looking very proud of himself at this moment. He was begging me with his eyes to say yes.

I knew if I agreed, Jasper would cave as well, however, we probably would feel terrified the entire time on our little adventure with Mr. Moody out of control. I thought about it for a moment. Bella never told me I couldn't do anything. I didn't get a phone call and threat like they did so maybe she wouldn't care if I had a boys weekend. And, she was obviously going somewhere interesting in that little outfit Alice showed me before they left. What the heck! "Ok Emmett...but nothing too crazy alright?"

Emmett was on the phone with a taxi service before I took a breath. Jasper fell onto the couch and panic filled the room. This would be a trip to remember!