REWRITE THE STARS ― doctor who

idiots lantern : part two

Chapter Fourteen: Idiot's Lantern

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THE DOCTOR KNEW CLAUDIA WAS MEANT TO TRAVEL WITH HIM WHEN HE FIRST LAID EYES ON HER OVER CHRISTMAS.

There was no explanation as to how he knew, only a feeling and likeliness one found in a reflection of themselves. She was dark and broody and vengeful, and her eyes brazed with fire — but, stars, she was unlike anyone he'd ever seen before.

And for a time traveler, that was practically unheard of.

The Doctor prided himself on picking companions with extraordinary qualities; above average intelligence, bravery, loyalty, camaraderie.

Claudia, with her wild curls and open expressions and hard eyes, encompassed each of those qualities and more.

She was brazen and fearless and strong. She had a fight like no one he'd ever known — including most of his brothers and sisters on the battlefield during the Time War — and she held her own against everything the universe threw at her.

She'd suffered so much loss and endured trauma in a manner few would ever understand.

But he understood. He always understood, when a companion struggled. When they lost someone or themselves.

And, yet, somehow, with Claudia Winchester, it felt different. Like the first time.

Knowing Claudia felt like staring into a solar system, but he couldn't control how much time passed. He was grateful when a meteor struck and she opened up to him, and he observed the stars exploding in her eyes as her brain moved.

She was as bright and fierce as a raging star, but she captivated his attention just the same. He couldn't look away from her, he never wanted to, she died and recreated herself so many times before his eyes in the short time they'd known each other that he never wanted to stop knowing her.

The Doctor had made many promises in his life, and very few were followed through upon. It was often far from intentional, but more commonly consequential in his prerogative of one versus many.

Versus himself.

And yet, promising Claudia he'd never intentionally let her go was, perhaps, the most important one he'd ever made. Deep in his hearts, he intended to keep the rope between them, tied together by their words, and ensure it never snapped.

He knew one day, of course, she may leave him. All humans do. It often felt like a gift, to traverse the universe and have all of time and space at his fingertips. But there was a price to pay in that too, a curse, wherein he was forced to spend his eternity alone, passing through people's lives like chapters in a book.

And he knew Claudia was the most interesting chapter he'd delved into thus far. She was the great reward of an otherwise exhausting adventure. He hoped, with all his hearts, that she may not leave him for as long as she lived, no matter how selfish that made him.

And it wasn't to say he was in love with her.

That was, absolutely not the situation of their relationship. He adored her, admired her, respected her, and wanted to spend every second of his time unraveling her mysteries and healing her scars — but he was not in love with her.