Michael Corner and The Education of Wizards

Michael Corner and The New School Rule

Hawkeye Hooch glared at us with those weird eyes of hers.

'Has anyone of you lot flown before?' she demanded.

'I've flown in an aeroplane,' squeaked Brocklebank.

'On a broom,' said Hooch, and Brocklebank dissolved in a cringing heap of embarrassment. Rather her than me, I thought, because I had flown in an aeroplane too and it might have been me that spoke up.

Boot put his hand up nervously. 'I've learned a bit on a Tutorus,' he said.

'Of course he has,' muttered Goldstein.

'Okay, so you know which end to hold, but I'm not talking about trainer brooms,' said Hooch. 'No-one? Good. Right. I don't want any repeats of this morning's shenanigans. Stand by your brooms. Hold your hands out and say "Up."'

It was a massive relief when my trusty steed rose smoothly to my hand. This was the big problem with being taught magic: it is very practical. It is so easy to fail, and when you fail it is very public. There's one thing learning about a spell from a book. It's very different having to perform the spell in a classroom, or wherever, when everyone can see you messing it up.

'Now, anyone who has ridden a bicycle should be able to ride a broom,' said Hooch.

That was quite reassuring, but when I swung my leg over the broom and rested my bum on the stick, it was more like riding a skateboard. Very top heavy.

Back home, there was a constant tension between my mum, who was a witch and my dad who was an academic, an economist, who was uncomfortable with too much magic around. So I knew about broomsticks in theory, but this was the first time I had ever even seen one in real life. On the other hand, I could ride a bike and had loved my skateboard. When I bestrode the broom, as Hooch put it, and kicked off I rose all of six inches and it felt very like a skateboard. More stable than a stationary bicycle.

Six inches was quite enough for me. Boot knew what he was doing, obviously, and rose six feet. But Muybridge rose a couple of feet, slowly rotated till he was upside down, came down, and landed on his head. Quite gently, but enough to worry Hooch. Several people never got off the ground so Hooch spent most of her time fussing over Muybridge.

'What happened this morning?' I muttered to Goldstein, who was next to me on one side.

'Just Potter and some Slither messing around,' said Boot who was on my other side. He always knew everything. 'Apparently another Griff got hurt but Potter got into deep do-dos.'

'What he said,' said Goldstein.

'Less talking, more flying,' said Hooch. 'You need to know the basics if you are going to play Quidditch.'

'Do I want to play Quidditch?' said Goldstein. 'I've survived okay without it so far.'

'You need to play it to understand it,' said Boot. 'It' so complicated that only people who have played it, or been close to someone who plays it, can have a hope of understanding it.'

'Sounds like cricket,' I said.

It was at that precise moment that I understood the difference between wizarding types and non-wizarding types. The non-wizarding types nodded in agreement. The wizarding types stared at me as though I had grown an extra head.

'What is cricket?' said Boot.

'Muggle game,' said Muybridge, who was sporting a bandage like a white bandana. 'It involves hitting a ball.'

'Quidditch does sound more interesting,' said Brocklebank.

'Only if you understand the rules,' said Boot.