Here We Go Again

Chapter 9: Lily

Time, curious time

Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Were there clues I didn't see?

Saturday, August 31st 1989

Lunch had come and gone, and Lily had not yet left the kitchen. She had a lot to do, of course: they were to cook all of Harry's favourite dishes for his going away dinner, and she had planned on also baking a layered chocolate cake and decorating it with a chunk of colourful buttercream frosting. But she'd also been too afraid to leave Mrs. Moore's side, to wander off on her own with the possibility of James approaching her and trying to start a conversation.

Those had been the blurriest last twenty four hours of her life. Since the previous morning, all she'd done was distract herself with every imaginable chore. Every toilet had been scrubbed clean, every glass polished to perfection. She had even fixed the crooked drawer in her nightstand, the one she had put off doing for probably years. Honestly, she was almost glad for everything that was happening; it had been her most productive day ever.

But only almost. When she thought back to the argument she had had with James in the kitchen, all she wanted to do was escape. The way he'd looked... He knew. He knew about Harry. God, did he know about Remus, too?

"Morning", a male voice said, and she almost dropped the egg carton in her hands.

She turned, heart in her hand, only to find Sirius descending the stairs. "Oh", she sighed in relief. "Good afternoon, Sirius. Are you feeling better?"

Remus appeared right behind him. "Yeah, I think he puked all the assholeness out of him already", he said. Mrs. Moore made a face next to her, but she said nothing.

Lily smiled. They seemed to be in an excellent mood, so it could mean one thing. She supposed it was hard to hold a grudge when you were taking care of someone in a state as poor as Sirius was.

"Right, then. You hungry?"

"Yes", Sirius replied eagerly.

"I'll make you a plate. You can eat outside, if the sunlight's not too bright for you."

"You're the best, Lils."

She pulled the leftovers out of the fridge and assembled Sirius a generously sized plate - she remembered how much he used to eat in morning afters. After heating it up, she took it to the outside table, where the two men sat and talked quietly to each other. Sirius met her with roaring cheers and immediately started shovelling food in his mouth.

"Do you mind joining us for a bit?" Remus asked, before she could leave. "If you're not too busy, of course."

Lily took a quick look around. James was nowhere in sight, so she agreed. "Sure, I can spare a few minutes."

Remus then started intently at Sirius, who was somehow already halfway done with his lunch. He took a while to notice the stare, but then straightened up and cleared his throat.

"Oh, right", he began. "Lily, first of all, I wanted to apologise for my behaviour last night. I made a fool of myself."

She shook her head. "Don't worry, really. It was a stressful night for all of us, I think."

"Still, no one behaved as poorly as I did."

"Well, the guests seemed quite entertained by you. So you don't need to feel too bad, okay?"

"Oh, come on, Lil", Remus intervened. "I was hoping you'd lecture him. You used to be so good at it back then."

She chuckled. "My prefect days are long gone. And you lecture him, then, if that's what you want. I already have a kid of my own to educate."