Oops, guess I did something that makes Josuke want to gamble - Rohan, probably

18 2 1

by supremespaghetti3

by supremespaghetti3

Just as Josuke and Koichi start to leave:

Rohan sits in an alleyway peeking his head out of the side

(Interestinggggg) Rohan thinks. (You know, Higashikata makes my blood boil. How about I put him in a load of higashitkata?) Rohan jokes to himself

How funny, Rohan.

Back to the present.

As Josuke walks down the street whilst stretching his arms above his head, Rohan starts to meticulously plot on how he's gonna screw with Josuke.

He starts by going into another alleyway that is on the same street as the one Josuke is walking down

While unnecessary, he uses Heaven's Door to make a squirrel run across the street. A driver just happens to be speeding; Out of disbelief, they slam on the brakes, with the car to subsequently swivel. Out of this anger, the driver also feels the need to punch the car horn.
This obviously catches Josuke off-guard.
(Is this the work of an enemy stand???) He thinks, with a look that could only be described as a deer in headlights, with a pose looking like the work of a failed sculptor attempting to make a statue, with the sculptor in question being very, very high on marijuana.

While Josuke is in this predicament, Rohan uses his stand once again to make a nearby bird take a nice dump onto Josuke's hair. Rohan quietly rolls out some clear marbles that he found in a dumpster in front of Josuke.

Josuke regains his cool, closes his eyes, then breathes in and out.
(Okay, that was bizarre, but I need some sleep, desperately) Josuke thinks as he opens his eyes.

As he turns away from the street, he can feel a glob fall onto his head.

For whatever reason, Josuke always carries a little mirror on him for whenever he feels like he needs to fix his hair, or gaze upon its supposed "beauty".
With the swiftness of a western cowboy taking a pistol out of its holster, he points the mirror to his hair, and he sees the nastiest drop of bird poop ever.

"SHIT, FIGURATIVELY AND LITERALLY" Josuke jumps in disbelief. "AND I THOUGHT I WAS LUCKY???"

Josuke starts pacing around, sobbing like a little girl.

"WHYYYYYYYY"

Josuke slips on the marbles. Poor Josuke.

(I give up) Josuke thinks to himself

He decides that he's just going to lay there and see what else happens to him

Rohan quietly strides towards Josuke from the alley. With the cockyness of the likes of someone like DIO, he approaches Josuke, then changes his fate so he has to gamble, no matter what.

(Keep in mind that Josuke is facing the concrete, so he isn't even aware that Rohan was there)

"Sayonara, fucka". Thus spoke Rohan with a silky voice. He then proceeds to diligently leave the scene in a flash so Josuke won't be aware of him, Rohan Kishibe being the one who pulled off this act of tomfoolery.

(Did I just hear someone talk? Am I going crazy?) Josuke thinks.

At this point he just wants to not be here, so what does he decide to do? The Joestar secret technique of course. He gets up and starts sprinting back to his house.
"I HAVE TO WASH MY HAIR! I HAVE TO LET OKUYASU KNOW THAT I'M GOING TO GO PLAY POKER!!!", Josuke shouts as he has his hands covering his hair, not aware at the moment that he wasn't saying that in his head, but shouting it out loud.