Wild Heart

Dont Let Go

Skateboarding was like flying.

Actually, it was like falling face first into the ground. Thats what I did as we rode down the mall together, side by side, Cameron gliding gracefully while I flung my arms around and stumbled, struggling to keep my balance and stay on for more than two seconds.

Cameron laughed at me, and my cheeks flushed with frustration and embarrassment. "This is stupid." I muttered under my breath.

I felt Cameron grab my hand. I realized he had stopped moving, and then I noticed I had too. Well, my feet weren't moving, but my head was spinning wildly.

The only light came from a light bulb hanging from a sketchy Mexican restaurant a few store down, making it hard to make out his facial expression. I felt his other had move to around my waist, bracing me and helping me balance. I sucked in a breath.

Without saying anything, he began to guide me down the lane. As we started moving again I automatically gripped his hand harder. My toes curled in concentration.

"Look, you are doing it." he whispered. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"It doesn't count if you are helping me." I said, but I didn't want him to let go.

He chuckled. "Alright, fine." he let go of me. Immediately, I panicked, losing my balance. I felt the board fly out from under me.

Of course, Cameron was there to catch me. It was like a stupid little fairy tale trust fall, where the stupid girl falls and is saved by the stupid handsome prince and then somehow they end up making out....

Ha ha. Kidding. I wished that would have happened. Instead I fell right on my butt.

"Ouch." I said. Cameron was hunched over, shaking with laughter.

"Are you gonna help me up?" I said between clenched teeth. Still laughing, he pulled me to my feet.

"I'm sorry, Kim. Should I kiss it better?" He said, not letting go of my hand. I rolled my eyes.

"You seem like the butt-kisser type." I said. "Thats probably how you got so famous."

He laughed, but it wasn't a real laugh, it was loud and hearty and it echoed around the mall.

"No, I'm famous because of my devilishly good looks and my clever charm." even in the dark I could see his wink.

"And don't forget how humble you are." I said, moving away from him to explore another part of the mall.

I noticed the jewelry store, but it was locked down more than the others, with double the amount of bared doors and the security system was intense. All the heavy jewelry was behind glass and gleaming at me. The nicest piece of jewelry I had was fake pearl earrings.

"Which one do you like? Preferably the rings." he said next to me, I laughed a little, and I could feel his smile. The lights illuminating the necklaces in their cases hit Cameron's face in all the right angles, and I imagined I looked like a ghost or a skeleton.

"Do you ever get tired of being funny?" I asked, leaning against the glass window. It was cool against my head, like an ice pack.

"That's like asking if I get tired of breathing." he laughed at himself, but I didn't. He noticed, and just like that, he was a different person. He was Cameron of course, but he wasn't trying to be funny. He was stiff now, and he wasn't smiling. His eyes were a darker brown. I was scared and a little taken back.

"I can be serious if you want. But I'm not as fun this way." he said, his voice smooth.

For a moment, I was torn between which Cameron I wanted to be around, and then I remembered it didn't matter. It was only for this night, and just being with both of them was enough.

"Ok, but while you are serious for a moment, can I ask you something?" I said, my voice low and quiet. I don't know why I was speaking quietly, it's not like anyone was there to hear us.

"Go for it." he said.

"Is it worth it?" I asked. Realizing how bland I was being, I added, "Being famous, I mean."

He smiled for a little, then it faded away as he thought about it. His eyes were distracted and focused on the window, the way you looked when you were thinking deeply about something.

"Sometimes. Sometimes it's fun, meeting people, doing things I wouldn't normally get to do, traveling." he said. "But it's exhausting. I don't know. I'm never comfortable. I'm never... home, you know?"

He asked me like I would know, but I didn't. I had never been out of my town. I've never lived anywhere besides my house and my neighborhood. I've never done anything as crazy as tonight.

But I nodded for him, because I knew sometimes you needed to know that someone else felt the same thing you did.

"Well, that was kind of depressing." he smiled his goofy wide smile that made his eyes squint. I smiled too and sighed inwardly, the old Cameron was back.

And to be honest, I was grateful.

"So, have you picked out what you want?" He asked.

I think I knew then exactly what I wanted.