The Ballad of the Bloodline

After the Escape

Dearest Covey,

I am not sure where to begin or how to explain. I am also unsure if you will ever see this journal, or me, ever again. It was so hard to walk away from our family and the life we had built, even if it was in control of the Capitol. I fell in love. I think you all knew that as well. From the day we went to the river with Coriolanus, to the songs you helped me write about him, I think you may have fallen for him as well. We trusted him. I trusted him. Past tense. 

We came up with a plan. To run away from the life we were living in District 12, run away from the poverty, from the killing of our poor children, and run from the Capitol. That was the hardest part for Coriolanus, he was giving up everything he had once built and desired, for me. That's how I knew, or what I thought I knew. Real or fake?  Real. I hope.

We met at the Hanging Tree and began our trek to the North. Once we got there, it would be just us. We talked about building a life for ourselves and settling down. We walked for miles and stopped often to spend time together. He was going through so much with the loss of Sejanus, or so I thought. I brought up the deaths we had both committed. Equally ashamed, we both had our issues, we both had our doubts about ourselves. He made me feel like I shouldn't be ashamed, like I was accepted in his eyes. 

This is when it all came crashing down. This was when I found out that the one man I thought I loved, had broken the most important aspect of my life. Trust. I know you all value it as much as I do, the Covey was built off it. I brought up that in the North we would no longer have to kill others to survive. He mentioned that, "the three he had killed" were enough. Three? I only knew about the two. Bobbin and Mayfair. Bobbin was merely self-defense and Mayfair, well she deserved it. Not that it was right in any way, but he did it to protect himself and his friends. Who was the third? His excuse was, "his old self." I didn't believe it for a second. It was Sejanus, had to be. He was the one who turned his best friend in for treason. Corio was the reason Sejanus was dead.

We walked some more and stopped at a cabin to rest, get out of the rain, and eat. I knew I had to run. I had to run from Coriolanus Snow, the person I thought I truly loved, the person who showed me kindness, and the person who saved my life. I had to run.

"Going to get some katniss," was my excuse. 

"But Lucy, it's still raining." 

"Good thing I ain't made of sugar." 

With that, I left. I dropped his mother's scarf as I began to run. It took him five minutes to realize something was wrong. He screamed for me. 

"Look if something's wrong we can figure it out."

I wanted to turn around then and there, work it out, together. I knew it was bad. I knew I couldn't give into my instincts or what my heart was telling me to do. I had to continue on. I hid behind a tree until I knew the coast was clear. He picked up his mother's scarf, coincidentally, a snake hid beneath it and bit him the minute he picked it up. 

"Are you trying to kill me, Lucy Gray?" 

Of course not. I would never commit such an act if I did not have to for my own survival. The snakes are just always on my side for some reason. He had a gun, the gun. The gun he used to kill Mayfair with, the one thing that could destroy his life and reputation, besides me.  He went mad. Shooting at the poor mockingjays that were humming my song. He looked in my direction. My cover was blown, he had to have seen me. So I began to run, he shot. I felt an overwhelming sense of pain in my shoulder. The piercing heat of the bullet hitting my shoulder continued to subject me to an endless amount of hurt. I carried on. Running faster and faster until I couldn't run anymore. Blood was dripping down my arms, my fingers were going numb but the adrenaline grew stronger every time I thought of him.