The Loneliest || L.S.

3

Louis woke up around 10am and was still in a great deal of pain that no over-the-counter medication could fix. He had to break the news to Harry soon which was something he wasn't looking forward to.

He rolled out of bed and went to the kitchen to prepare some tea. Harry was sitting in the living room, watching TV. This isn't going to be easy. As much as Louis wanted to grow old with Harry he's now realizing he'll never have the chance to.

"Hey Haz?" Louis said, grabbing a cup of tea for both him and Harry. "I have something to tell you... and it's not good." He started. He sat beside Harry and ran his hand through his hair.

"You can tell me anything, Lou. Whenever you're ready." Harry said, wrapping an arm around him.

"So, I guess I really haven't been feeling well for a while now. It started with extreme tiredness and kind of just developed into something more. My body started to ache, and my glands have been hurting a lot as well. It's been painful to talk, but I'm gonna tell you this anyways." Louis was already choking on tears. He knew Harry wasn't going to take this well.

"Last night, I didn't go shopping. I went to the emergency room and got checked out. I know that if I was actually honest with you that that would be what you'd want me to do. But I kept it a secret because I knew what was coming. As you know, my mum died from cancer, and it just runs in my family," he blinked back some tears. He had to be strong for Harry.

"I told the doctors that. They ran a couple blood tests on me, and it- it's true. I have lymphoma, Harry. They gave me an option to undergo chemotherapy, but I don't want to take them up on that until things get really bad. I hope you don't hate me for not telling you, I told Liam first because I wanted to protect your happiness." Louis was crying hard at this point. He couldn't even look at Harry for the fear that he'd be just as weak.

Instead of saying anything, invalidating Louis' feelings or yelling at him for keeping such a huge secret, Harry wasn't mad at Louis. He just pulled Louis into a long, much needed hug, as they both cried together.

"Lou, I could never hate you. I appreciate that you care about my happiness but you should've told me. The nightmare I had two nights ago... it must've been real. I'm gonna lose you, my boobear, my Lou, my whole heart and soul. And there's no- nothing I can do to fix it. Cancer is fatal. This disease is going to eat you alive, and I have to watch as it takes you away. I can't do this. I can't live without you, I don't want to-" Harry was interrupted by Louis pressing his finger to his lips.

"Sunshine, I'm gonna stick around for as long as I can. But the only way we're gonna get through this is if we're strong, and think positively. I need you to be strong for me. As much as I need that, you do too." Louis says, still holding Harry in his arms.

Then it hit Louis.

He had to tell the boys. His family. The fans.

"What are you gonna tell the boys? Are you gonna proceed with chemotherapy?" Harry choked on his words. Louis felt horrible. But there was nothing he could do to change it.

"I'm gonna wait until things get bad before I do chemo. I don't want to lose my hair. I don't want to disappoint the fans. Let's invite the boys over for a pizza and movie night. I hate keeping secrets. Especially a life changing secret." Louis said, gazing at the floor.

"Lou, you really shouldn't wait to start treatment. The longer you wait the longer it will take for you to get better. And you know the boys will agree with me on that. Will you please do the treatment? For me?" Harry said, grasping Louis' hand.

"I'll think about it Haz. I just don't want to let anyone down." Louis cries.

"Louis, the only person you'd be letting down is yourself. Everyone else will just have to adjust. Not that it will be easy." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis. It hasn't fully hit him yet.

"You're right. Call the boys." Louis said, laying down slowly on the couch. He was so exhausted.

[One hour later]

The boys had arrived at Harry's and Louis'. Liam brought pizza, chips, and soda. They all agreed to watch the Toy Story movies. Well. It was Liam's idea but the boys weren't opposed to it.

They ate and talked about their lives as rising superstars. Louis felt horrible that he had to break such horrible news to them tonight, but it's better for them to know sooner rather than later.

"Lads, I have some news I have to get off my chest. And it's not good." Louis said, avoiding eye contact with anybody.

"Hit us Tommo, vas happenin?" Zayn asked.

"Yeah, what's up Louis?" Niall added.

Liam didn't say anything because he had suspected something like this would happen.

"Well um. I went to the emergency room last night. As you all know cancer took my mum's life a few years back. I wanted to tell you all sooner rather than later but I have lymphoma." Louis said.

He never heard silence quite this loud.

"Is this some kind of prank?" Niall was the first to speak with little emotion behind his voice.

"I'm afraid not. Harry love, will you go get my discharge paperwork?" Louis said, still directing his stare to the floor. Harry had nodded slowly and got up to retrieve the paperwork.

The paperwork had been handed around the circle. This was real. All Louis could feel was guilt coursing through his head.

Everyone had cried for a bit.

"You're... you're gonna get treatment right?" Zayn choked.

"Please, Louis. One Direction won't be the same if this disease takes you." Niall cried.

"This is Louis' choice guys. Don't pressure him." Liam said. Liam always masked his emotions pretty well but even he was crying a bit.

There was a long pause.

"For the sake of my family, and you all, who are my second family, I will do treatment." Louis said. "I'm sorry to break such horrible news like this."

"Let's have some fun, yeah? I'll put on Toy Story." Harry redirected. Harry was pretty good at lightening the mood when he wanted to.

And so the boys sat and watched the Toy Story movies, sharing a good laugh every so often. It hit Louis that he wasn't gonna have much time left for moments like these, so he cherished every second.

He starting tearing up so he got up from the couch and headed straight for the bathroom to cry. He didn't like showing his emotions around the boys. Harry was a different story.

Rock bottom. He thought. I've hit rock bottom.

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hey y'all! bit of a longer chapter so i hope you enjoyed. GOOD STUFF IS COMING!! xx 🩷
-maddie <3