The Loneliest || L.S.

4

Louis hadn't noticed how much time he had spent crying in the bathroom until there was a knock at the door. He had hoped it wasn't Harry. He didn't want Harry to see him like this, it would break him. Louis opened the door.

It was Zayn.

"Louis, you alright?" Zayn said, genuinely concerned. Zayn was the most chill out of the five boys. Yes, he was upset about Louis' new condition, but he always put everyone's feelings first. There was time to worry about the cancer later on. He had hoped, anyways.

"Zayn... I'm gonna die in the next few years. If treatment doesn't work, then I'm fucked. The world will have to deal with the heartbreak of my death, my family, you boys, and especially Harry. I don't think he could live without me. I'm so scared." Louis sobbed. Zayn pulled him into a long hug.

"Hey, let's just take things day by day yeah? There's no promise you're gonna live or die. You won't know until you start treatment and get more tests done. You'll be okay, Lou. When all else fails, we're your second family, and we won't let you down. Now let's go finish Toy Story 2." Zayn said, patting Louis' back.

Louis was so grateful to have the friends that he did. He didn't know where he'd be without them. He was hoping that Harry wouldn't notice that he had been crying.

He noticed, fuck.

"Boobear, what's got you so upset?" Harry said, looking rather concerned.

"We'll talk later, darling." Louis didn't even want to face Harry right now. He knows that no matter what happens, Harry will end up very hurt. There was nothing he could do to change the fact, either.

"No, Lou. Meet me on the balcony." Harry got up from the couch and walked to the sliding door that lead to the balcony. I can't avoid him forever. Louis thought.

Louis followed Harry out on the balcony. "What the hell has gotten into you, Louis? First you keep it a secret that you're not feeling well, next you keep the fact that you have cancer a secret, and now, now you're keeping it a secret that you're upset? I mean Lou, I don't get it. We used to communicate everything with each other. And now I feel like our relationship is based off of secrets. Lies. So are you gonna tell me what's going on? Or are you gonna keep hurting me like this?" Harry said in distress.

Louis wasn't ready for this conversation, not now.

"Harry, I've only kept these secrets because I know that it will hurt you. I'm trying to save you from hurting." Louis cried. It was true. He didn't ever want to hurt Harry.

"It hurts me even more when you're not honest with me. You of all people should know that." Harry's voice had cracked. He was about to cry.

Suddenly, Louis felt really weak.

"H... Harry-" Was all Louis could get out before his body collapsed on the ground.

He was unconscious.

"Louis! Louis wake up!" Harry cried. He ran back into the apartment to call 999.

"What happened?" Liam asked.

"We... we were just talking and he collapsed. He's not conscious." Harry said.

"Call 999. I'll get him inside." Liam said.

[An hour later]

The ambulance had came. Harry rode in with Louis, and the rest of the boys drove to the hospital together.

"What happened? What triggered him to pass out?" The emergency technician asked.

"He was recently diagnosed with lymphoma. He didn't want to get treatment right away because he didn't think the condition was bad enough yet." Harry said. He had prayed that these people would take good care of his Boobear.

"That's never a good idea. If you're unlucky enough to get diagnosed with something as serious as cancer, you need to act upon it right away because the later you wait to receive treatment, the longer it will take to respond to treatment. I'll get him hooked onto an IV. He should wake up relatively soon after that." The emergency technician explained. For a technician, this guy knows a lot about cancer. Harry thought.

It just hit Harry. Cancer.

They had arrived at the hospital but there was no sign of consciousness in Louis still. Harry had waited about fifteen minutes before Louis finally woke up. The boys stayed in the waiting area as there was only one visitor per room at a time. Stupid hospital rules.

"Haz? Where am I? What happened?" Louis asked, disoriented. His voice was weak and groggy.

"Boobear, you- you passed out. So you're in the hospital right now." Harry broke.

"No, no, no, get me out of here." Louis said frantically, trying to pull the IV out of his arm. Harry was able to restrain him but pressed the call button for help.

Louis was stubborn when it came to healthcare. He watched his mum slowly die in a hospital from this very same disease because the doctors didn't have a clue what to do for her. It was aggravating. That, and he doesn't want the last moments of his life to be in a hospital bed.

A nurse had come into the room. "What's going on?" She asked.

"Well for starts he's awake now. But he kept playing with his IV. So I was hoping you could talk him out of trying to pull it out." Harry emotionlessly said.

"Lewis darling, leave that alone. I'm gonna take your vitals and then call the doctor in alright?" She's nice. Harry thought. But why is it so hard for people to say his name right.

Louis had actually listened. That's a first.

Louis still had low blood pressure, along with low oxygen. The nurse said she would be sure to inform the doctor of that.

"Hazza? Am I gonna die?" Louis squeaked out. It shattered Harry. Louis' time here was more finite than anyone's. He knew this, but tried to keep it at the back of his mind.

"No, Lou, you're not gonna die. You're a tough cookie, you can survive this." Harry said, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"You think so?" Louis asked. It sounded like his death was nearing. He didn't have much time left, but he could still pull through. Treatment hasn't started yet.

"I know so, baby. Now get some rest. I'll wake you when the doctor comes in." Harry held Louis' hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

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hi all!! these past couple chapters have been a little longer than i had hoped for so i hope you're still enjoying (if you've read this far). i have some good stuff coming up but make sure you bring your tissues. this ain't gonna be no easy breezy book to read. don't forget to vote, and comment if you'd like to as well.

thank you for your support,
-mads 🩷