Secrets We Keep

4

Fake. A word I always disliked. Never will like it. And will always hate.

I stare at the empty ceiling, in my empty bedroom. It's weird. I'm so used to being used that it's weird to be unused. I want to cry, and maybe I will later, but the thought of being vulnerable makes me want to puke. I tried– Lord knows I tried. I opened myself to a strange man, and I tried to start something but how did it end up? Me getting crushed, and... he just slides out of the situation as if nothing happened. As if nothing happened between us. But it's too late. Too bad I'm forced to see him. Everyday. All day.

And all of a sudden. The thought of marrying Will doesn't seem so bad. Even after all he's done to me, and my family, at least he's not playing me... at least– not now.

❀

All the staff are working, day and night, for a wedding– my wedding, a wedding I don't even want to happen, a wedding I don't even like. Marrying a man I don't even like... or love. Not that it matters. My life is literally in his hands. No is not an option. It's just unfortunate that I could've had a chance at escaping love with Erik... if the love between us was even real. That's why I'm not vulnerable. Being vulnerable just leads to heartbreak. A lot of heartbreak-

A quick knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. "I'm coming, one second!" I call out before I open the door, revealing a beautiful young woman, her light brown hair, and her fair-skinned tone, as well as her curvy body, make me look twice. "Uh... who are you?" I ask, looking questionable.

She laughs as she fixes up her tight blue dress. "Rodriguez." She puts her hand in front of me, shaking my hand and smiling. "Sorry for not introducing myself earlier. I couldn't catch you with all the staff around. I'm your wedding planner, er– organizer." I look at her, puzzled, raising an eyebrow and motioning her to sit on the sofa nearby.

"Wedding planner? The wedding's in a week. There's not much to plan..." I say, groaning. Rodriguez opens up her laptop, revealing beautiful wedding venue ideas, many wedding-themed games and so on.

"Even if there might not be a lot to plan, that doesn't mean we shouldn't plan at all... right?" Rodriguez says, shifting closer to me. "Here look at these..." She shows me a board of rustic-contemporary-themed weddings, a mix of traditional and modern. Even if I'm not a fan of the thought of getting married, at least it'll look stunning.

"Wow... those are beautiful," I say softly, so soft that I feared she might've missed it. "Can you get it to look like this one-"

"Why're you marrying him?" Rodriguez asks, cutting me off from my sentence. "Sorry to interrupt but, why should I waste all these gorgeous ideas, even you– waste such a gorgeous woman for him." I look at her with disbelief.

I know marrying Will is incredibly selfish and there's no doubt. But who does she think she is? Waltzing into my room, showing me all these stunning wedding ideas, and then dares to question my marriage? "I'm sorry. I don't think it's your place to question my wedding, you're the planner, not my mother. You have no say in this wedding." I stand up and walk towards the door. "It was nice meeting you, but I don't think I'll be meeting up with you, ever. Thanks!" I blow a kiss as she leaves the room. I lock the door and head into the bathroom.

Lighting up a few candles and playing some soft music, I make myself a bubble bath. The perfect water, with the perfect lighting. Just perfection.

Lowering myself into the tub, I put on my headphones and sink myself into my world. "Lorrie...love?" Will calls, entering the bathroom. "Are you here? I can see the light from the bottom of the door."

I sink even further into the tub. "H-how did you get in... the door was locked?!" I shriek as he locks the bathroom door, removing my headphones and putting them on the counter in one swift movement.

"I hope you soon realize that this is MY house and I know how to open mere doors..." He says, unbuttoning his top and undoing his pants, climbing into the opposite side of the tub. "This is nice..." He whispers as he sinks lower into the tub. I stare at him with a mix of annoyance and a twinge of attraction– which is terrible considering what he's done to my family, however, I need to get used to seeing him around, since I AM marrying him.

Will's buzzcut waves around as he pulls himself down into the tub, a few strands of hair only being revealed. He's not an ugly man, his muscles, abs and even his voice are attractive, it's just how desperate he gets to have something he wants, it gets scary.

I slowly emerge from the tub and pull on a robe, hoping to God for some reason he doesn't hear me get out. I wrap the robe around myself and grab my headphones, unlocking and opening the door as I exit the bathroom. I can't escape him forever... I think to myself as I get dressed. Putting on a long ruffled pink dress and matching heels. I walk out of the bedroom. Maybe I can't escape him now– but I can ignore him. I think as I make my way into the hallway. Right into Erik. I look up at him, it's not fair. He's stunning, he's attractive, but he doesn't care about me. So I can't care about him. That's how it works. I walk past him with a huff and walk into the kitchen.

"Lorrie?" Rodriguez calls from the dining room. Sitting with her back towards me, scrolling on her laptop, looking at wedding dresses. "Come here for a sec, would 'ya?" She asks, acting as if our last conversation never happened, as if she never questioned my wedding, as if I don't question myself. I find myself walking towards her, sitting beside her and observing the dresses. "Gorgeous aren't they?" I look at the dresses, the various types, lengths and details. As much as I don't want to agree, I can't help but nod. They're beautiful. Stunning.

"They are beautiful... especially that one," I say, pointing to a long laced, sleeveless dress. I look at the dress again, at Rodriguez and back at the dress. "If I wear any dress, it has to be this one." Rodriguez sighs as she clicks on the "ORDER NOW" on the dress.

She orders the dress and turns to face me, closing her laptop. "Lorrie... I'm so sorry, it wasn't my place to judge your marriage like that, it wasn't even fair. I'm sorry... forgive me?" She asked, pouting her face in a way that made me almost melt.

I sigh and nod, giving her a small hug. "I forgive you..." I reply, earning a happy squeal from her.

"Let's get ready for the wedding!"