Finding Sapphire

Innocence

As I stepped out of my mother's house, I pulled my long coat tightly around me, shielding myself from the prying eyes of my neighbors. I knew that my decision to date a senior, Darius, had caused quite a stir in our community. At only 14 years old, I was still in high school, and many people disapproved of my relationship with a senior who was about to graduate.

But I didn't care. I was in love with Darius, and I didn't want to let anything stand in the way of our relationship. Skipping school to be with him had become a regular thing, and we spent most of our time together kissing and rubbing on each other. Although we hadn't gone all the way yet, I could feel that Darius was getting more and more impatient.

My older sister, Onyx, was on my ass heavy about my relationship with Darius. She warned me about the dangers of dating an older man and begged me to end things with him. But I didn't listen. I wanted to numb myself from reality, and being with Darius helped me do just that.

So, when Darius invited me to a senior party, I jumped at the chance. I spent hours getting ready, carefully selecting an outfit that would make me feel confident and sexy. I chose a midriff top that showed off my toned abs and a pair of jeans that hugged my curves in all the right places. To complete the look, I straightened my hair and pierced my belly button, a secret that only Lamonica knew about.

As I walked down the steps of my mother's house in my long coat, I felt a sense of excitement and anticipation building inside me. This was my chance to escape from reality for a night and be with the person I loved most in the world.

The party was everything I had hoped for and more. The music was loud, the drinks were flowing, and everyone was having a good time. Darius and I danced together all night long, lost in our own little world. And although we didn't go all the way that night, I could feel that things were changing between us. Our secret had begun to make its way around the school, and people were talking about us behind our backs. But I didn't care. All that mattered to me was being with Darius and feeling alive for just one moment in time."Where are you going?''Onyx asked me
"Out with Lamonica.." I said
"Sapphire Rayne. I don't want you hanging with that girl she is too grown for her age.''
"Onyx..your not my mom you're my sister...imma hang with who i want to."
I walked out of the house and got into the car.
"If your not back by 12 i am locking the door since you so grown!" Onyx yelled.

"Thats your sister?" Darius asked as we drove off.

"Yeah she swears she's my damn mother." I said.
"She means well.." He said pulling up to a house. There was loud music that played and teenagers standing outside, inside and even on the balcony of the house.
We walked in and Darius greeted everyone . We walked to the drink table and began taking shots. Darius stepped off to the side and was talking to a group of boys. I looked around and a girl walked over to me with a cup in her hand.
"So you're dating Darius?"She asked.
"Yeah why ?"
"Let me fill you in on him...He's a hoe...I was just dating him last year...he still class my phone...you're young....don't get caught up with him."
"Thank you but i think we are good .'' i said walking away. I began to feel tears form in my eyes i quickly wiped them away. Darius ran up to me and handed me a cup with liquor.
"I don't want any." i said.
"Whats wrong?''
"Are you still texting your ex?"
"Come on now.. No.. drink this we gonna have a good time and relax." he said. I began drinking and we danced for a little. Then i began to feel woozy after awhile. I felt Darius pick me up and carry me to a room. I looked around and saw that i was in a bedroom. My body felt like it was numb and i breathed in heavily as he undressed and began kissing on me.
"Wait..." i mumbled.
"Come on babe.. I been waiting for awhile to taste you." He moaned. He began to kiss on my neck and undress me. I couldn't move it was as if my body froze. I looked up at the ceiling and the room began to spin. The first time he entered me it was painful. I couldn't even fight back. It was over as quick as it began and i tried to get up but i couldn't. The door opened and three more boys walked in.
"She good bro?" One asked.
"Yeah..she got that good shit..put them jawns on." Darius giggled. I closed my eyes and when i woke up i was alone...It was cold in the room and Darius was gone. I felt a shooting pain in my vagina when i stood up. I got my clothes on and walked out the door. The house was surprisingly clean and two people were asleep on the couch. A girl was laying on the floor sleep and the door to the outside was slightly cracked. I opened the door and closed it fast behind me before running down the road. It was freezing outside but i didn't care. I headed home and ran upstairs to my room. I undressed and got in the shower.After getting a shower i put some clothes on and climbed into bed. When i woke up Onyx wasn't home and neither was Cepheus. I walked downstairs and made something to eat. My head was pounding. My phone began to ring . I answered the phone and it was Lamonica.
"Girl i've been calling you all night and all morning? I thought your ass dead.''
"I have to tell you something.'' I said.
"What is it?"
"I went to a party with Darius last night.. I think he drugged me and i think he let some dudes run a train on me..''
"You think or are you sure?"
"Lamonica.. I am sure...I really think i was raped last night. I'm a virgin...now i'm not...i know Darius had sex with me...but i didn't want the other two boys too."
"The best thing you should do sis is be quiet about it....You don't want what happened to Paige Green happening to you.'' She said. Paige Green was a girl that we went to middle school with who was raped by a few classmates then committed suicide after exposing them.
I shook my head then poured myself a cup of a coffee because i still felt like i wasn't awake yet.
My phone began to ring . It was Darius.
"Let me call you back Lamonica its Darius calling.'' I clicked over.
" I was in the shower why didn't you let me take you home?"
"Why did you let them rape me?''
"Babe...they used a condom. I only wanted you to do it one time. Do you really think i will let someone hurt you?"
"Thats not the point Darius..."
"It won't happen again i promise. I'm about to drop you off some money answer the door." He said.
I was 14 and didn't know how to feel. I was dating the cutest boy in high school and didn't want to fuck it up but i also didnt want to have to fuck his friends again.
Darius pulled up and handed me $500 before going to work. I took it and headed upstairs to my room and placed it in a box. I felt like i was in a daze.. My innocence was gone and had no one to confide to about the confusion i was feeling.
I was battling with myself about whether what happened was wrong or right.