The Fan's Playlist

--Haunt, the Cartoon Heart-- by Bear Ghost

My Hero Academia

Vocab: Quirk -- superhuman ability

Neito Monoma -- Quirk: Copy. He can copy anyone's quirk. His quirk is activated by touch. Once he touches someone's bare skin, he can use their ability for twenty minutes and can copy up to five quirks.

Itsuka Kendo -- Quirk: big hands. Her hands get huge. (honestly it's Neito's quirk that's important. Itsuka is just the vessel.)

Neito Monoma confesses his love for Itsuka Kendo, except the more he tries to explain his feelings, the weirder it gets.

"So, you wanted to talk to me?" Itsuka starts, tucking a loose strand of her rust-red hair behind her ear.

"Yes," Neito states confidently.

"Okay," she smiles politely, waiting for him to go on.

Neito looks down at his feet and starts fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. "Kendo, for the longest time, I," he starts hesitantly. "I... since we first met... I haven't been the same?"

Itsuka raises an eyebrow. That was awkward phrasing for a love confession.

"For a while," he continued, "I knew that I really liked you."

Itsuka blushed and opened her mouth to reply. She had liked him for a while too and was waiting for him to make a move.

Then he continued. "Every time you walk into the room, I can feel myself lighting up. You inspire me to be the best version of myself that I can be. You're the only person I have ever met that I can honestly say gets me, and I thank you for that."

Itsuka stumbled over her words. "I--uh, you're... welcome?"

He shook his head and began buttoning and unbuttoning the cuffs on his shirt. "Every time I'm partnered with you, I get excited despite the limited amount I can do with your quirk."

She paused. She wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an insult. It sounded like both.

"Whenever I'm with you, I want your attention more than anything. Your pride is my pride, and I always get so upset whenever I think about how being in the inferior class B drags down your reputation and limits your opportunities."

She opened her mouth to protest that that's not how she felt at all. Of all the people she knows, only Neito felt that way, but he continued.

"When you smile at other people, I get just... so jealous that you smile for them and not me. And I know that I can be rude sometimes, but I really like it whenever you're there trying to stop me. I always feel like I'm hurting your feelings with whatever I have to say, but even when you slap me for it, it's nice to know that you're listening. I often feel like everyone else just... ignores me."

"Monoma, what?" Itsuka tries to interject. This confession is going south.

"I want to..." he continues, oblivious to her interjection. "I want to be the only person you slap when you get angry, and I want to be the person that uses your quirk well in training and in the field, and you make me want to run until I puke just to catch up to you sometimes."

Itsuka raised her eyebrows. She knew he liked her, but he was no longer confessing to a crush. This was borderline obsession.

He had been avoiding her eyes the entire time, but he looked up into her eyes and took a deep breath. It was anyone's guess what he was trying to say because what he did say was, "I want to be better because of you. I want to push myself. I want to have perfect grades just like you, and I want to be stronger, smarter, and better. And I want you to see that too."

He took a brief pause. Itsuka opened her mouth, but he cut her off.

"I want to feel like I am enough for you. I will be enough for you. Because you're smart and pretty and strong and you're the coolest, greatest, most amazing person I know." His voice was raising with intensity. The button on his sleeve threatened to break off.

She thought he was getting back on the right track. This is what she expected.

Until he said, "I just can't take it anymore. I want--I want to be part of you."

Everything Neito had done right was just undone by what he had done wrong. Itsuka waited for him to continue, but he bowed his head and continued to fiddle with the cuff of his sleeve.

Itsuka didn't know how to react. She didn't have the words to explain that she liked him, but she didn't think he was exactly... sane. She got butterflies when he smiled at her. Not that horrible, scary, malicious smile he normally had plastered on his face, but the real one he used when he laughed at her jokes. She loved the skip in his step that he always got when he was following her orders. No one else took her quite so seriously. No one else believed in her just the same way he seemed to think she was capable of anything. And she found it endearing that when she fell short, he didn't think any less of her; he still thought she was perfect, but that everything was simply wrong in the world, and he would rearrange the stars if it meant things were starting to go right for him or her. But looking into his eyes just now, she knew he wasn't all there. Like pieces of who he was deep down were peeling off. She had known him for less than a year, and she could already tell that he was slipping away. That one day, there would be nothing left. Whoever Neito Monoma was was a complete mystery to her. There was only part of him left, and he was only sixteen. Her heart sank at the dull realization that the man that she loved would one day be gone, leaving only a shallow husk.

"I'm sorry, I can't," she choked out. "I can't return your feelings," she lied, holding back tears. She loved him so much, but she deserved better.

He hung his head and slipped his hand up his sleeve. "Okay," he said simply.

Itsuka wished there was more she could do or say. Her heart broke as she watched him accept her rejection, turn around, and walk away.

Neito knew she wouldn't understand. No one did. He saw himself as a reflection. His personality, his worldview, everything, was a reflection of the world he grew up in. He so desperately wanted her to understand. To understand that he simply wasn't complete without the people around him. And of all the people he had met in his life, the person he liked the best didn't want to become more than just a small part of him. 

Itsuka wiped away her tears. She was fine hiding her emotions to work with him and let him copy her quirk, but even though she had rejected him, she wasn't aware that that didn't stop him from slowly copying the rest of her too.