𝗨𝗡𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗕𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗬

016. 𝗦𝗡𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗕𝗢𝗗𝗬

"Are you feeling alright?"

Izuku's voice sounded so far away yet close, she always found him interesting but now that her thoughts were jumbled and she felt like having a knife would do her better than being defenseless again, "Yeah, I'm... Good, I think." She couldn't keep her eyes on him for long, feeling the need to constantly look at the windows.

"... Are you sure? Why do you keep looking behind me?" Izuku furrowed his eyebrows and quickly glanced back, settling his fork down and questioning her tensed appearance.

"Oh- I... I wasn't looking at anything." She smiled, allowing her to cast her gaze down and pick a piece of fried egg she cut out and put it in her mouth, "Don't worry, I'm... Good, yeah, I've got nothing to worry about!" She chuckled, nodding her head and almost seemed like she was convincing herself rather than him.

"Yeah... we are good. So don't worry, as long as we stick to my plan, it will be alright." he stretched his hand out to caress her free hand and got her to look at him, she smiled, softening her widened eyes, and gently bobbed her head.

What she didn't say lingered on her tongue.

'For how long?' she thought to herself, staring down at the food she still didn't feel like finishing no matter how she tried to. She did the same thing before, leaving, and her happiness never lasted long. Maybe she was overthinking this, maybe she was thinking nonsense.

But she still wanted a knife. With her.

Something, something to feel in her hand when she hears anything in the house, something to make her believe she could handle whatever came her way, anything to make her believe herself.

And soon, she lost her appetite, and swallowing anything felt like she was chewing down pebbles. Every time she thinks of danger, hunger is the last thing on her mind, and only wanted to lock herself in with the reassurance that if someone had to enter, they'd have to go through many locked doors to reach her.

"I think I'm done. I'll go now."

"You haven't finished-"

"No, I can't! I can't force it down my throat." She pushed her chair back and got up to her feet, "I promise I'll finish it later." she picked up her plate and tried to walk away, ignoring Izuku as he got up and followed behind her to the kitchen.

"Is something bothering you? Please, you have to tell me at least." Izuku pleaded as he sidestepped her and stood in front of her frame, stopping her from completing her daily errand. Yesterday, he tried to argue that she didn't need to do the chores around the house but she had insisted it would keep her mind at ease and he hadn't made an effort to deter her.

"It's nothing, really!" she strained a grin, quickly attempting to tread past him, but he didn't approve of it. "Izuku, you're scaring me!!" she suddenly yelled and moved back, and had her hands not been holding up the plate, she'd have pushed him back.

"What?" Izuku's shoulders slackened and he peered down at her, "I didn't mean to--"

She placed her plate on the counter and looked at him, taking in his guilty expression and she couldn't help but feel like a bad person for shouting at him without a reason, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled." she quickly apologized, "I don't know why I did that, I just-- I just remembered he used to do that to stop me from leaving our classroom."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." Izuku had also been quick in realizing his mistake and taking the blame, he opened his mouth to say more but she beat him to it, "No! It's not your fault, I just keep associating everything with him that it's hard to stop now, having breakfast in the morning, sleeping alone, closed doors, they just all seem to trigger the worst memory."