War

Chapter 2

To be honest, it's starting to get to me, you know? Sometimes i wish i could just end it all. I would be lieing if i said that i have never thought about killing about my self. Whenever the whistle goes off, saying a bomb is going to be dropped, I can't help but think what it would be like to stand there and stare as the bomb got closure and closure. I wonder if death would be painful or if it wouldn't. If i would just feel nothing, all the pain not having enough time to reach my brain before it shut down. I cant leave mom alone though, If i did i think she wouldn't be able to go on. I think that all is keeping her from giving up completely is the fact that she thinks that Chris will come back. 

Though no one cares. Everyone, when the see someone break down, or see someone struggling with their life, their first instinct is walk in the opposite direction. People don't like to get into other peoples business Its what has been taught to us since childhood, never meddle in someones business. Not even when it might be for the best.Sure, people in the beginning said how sorry they were about what had happened. Not anymore though, because no one wants to deal with teenangers angst, no one wants to deal with any ones problems. All anyone cares about is themselves. 

I sigh and get up, mom will get up soon. which means i have to get ready for the day. I go over to my closet and open it up. My eyes fall on to his jacket. Its exactly the same as it was when he gave it to me, all i ever did to it was hang it up. I look over at the picture of all of us that was taken about a month before the battle. Mom is standing next to dad, her golden locks are blowing in the wind and she is wearing a white dress that makes her grass green eyes shine. Father is stood next to her, hes wearing his military uniform, he has his black hair cut into a buzz cut and his blue eyes are staring into the camera. Chris is sat on the ground, he's looking at the camera with disinterest, His blond hair looks like it hasn't been brushed and his green eyes are sullen. While I'm sat to the left of Chris,I'm looking excited. My hair, like Chris's, is messy but then again i think i had done that to my self after mom had spent a good hour on it . My green eyes, like moms, are shining with excitement. 

I look at the photo and cant help but think that maybe i missed something. I was 7 at the time so my mind was never really wandered to what was going on in family life. My mind was always on the topic of playing or what we were going to have for dinner that night. I cant look at the photo anymore, all that is left of that once happy family, are two people who wouldn't be called happy by anyone.