Just Live

Chapter 10

Anaplastic Astrocytoma. Grade 3.

A rare, malignant brain tumor that grows fast and is aggressive; its prognosis depends on the characteristics of the tumor and how far it has progressed. Because of its rapid growth and aggressiveness, there is a likelihood of the tumor progressing to glioblastoma multiforme, the most common, but also the most aggressive, form of brain cancer. It has a prognosis of only less than a year.

Sarah's cancer was graded 3, and she currently has a fifty percent chance of having a five-year survival rate following an intense treatment process.

Her diagnosis was accidental. She disregarded the symptoms as being part of her daily life. Although the headaches had a distinct characteristic, she thought it was just migraine, something she has dealt with for many years. She thought she had shaky hands because of fatigue and was the reason behind trouble with doing things with her hands. Little did she know, she was already having symptoms from the tumor pressing on parts of her brain.

It wasn't until Sarah slipped in the shower room after swimming practice and hit her head badly when they found out. They expected to see signs of a brain injury from the scans, but instead, they saw a tumor. After opting to have a biopsy done ahead of the risky surgery because of the tumor's location, they received confirmation of malignancy in its aggressive form.

"I'm scared, Matt," Sarah said so quietly as tears still ran down her cheeks.

They were now inside their hotel suite after both had an emotional breakdown by the pool. Matteo had his right arm wrapped around her body while his fingers from the opposite hand were laced with Sarah's. She was snuggled against him, her head resting in the crook of his arm and body.

"Me too, Sarah," Matteo whispered as he kissed the side of her head, his eyes still red and watery from crying. "But, we're gonna fight for you. Fifty percent, five years, those are just numbers. Those are statistics. Your fighting spirit is far stronger than your illness and you can beat those statistics."

Sarah looked up at him with worried eyes. "What if sa surgery pa lang, magka-problema na? What if..."

"Shhh, don't say that," Matteo swallowed the lump in his throat and hugged her tighter. "You know what they told me noon? That after having my stroke, I probably won't be able to walk again, to do things for myself again. Look at me now, Sarah, look at the things we've done together. We ran, we hiked, we swam, we dove off a cliff, we snorkeled at marami pa. "

Sarah brought her face down to Matteo's chest and he could tell that she was trying to control her cries. He felt her hug him tighter as her shoulders shook from crying quietly.

"You don't have to hold it in, Sarah. Just let it out," Matteo said softly while his own tears fell. "What are you scared of?"

Sarah was diagnosed long before she left for her trip. When all had been said and done to prepare for her scheduled surgery, she requested for a week to herself to enjoy life and her independence, followed by weeks of radiation and months of chemotherapy. In just a matter of days, her journey to beating cancer begins.

"I'm scared of the whole thing," she whispered between her cries. "Yung surgery, yung outcome, yung recovery, yung treatment. Natatakot ako kung ano magiging epekto ng chemo sakin, kung kakayanin ko ba yung mental at physical effects niya. Natatakot akong hindi ko kayanin, Matt. At lalong natatakot ako na no matter how badly I want to fight it, what if yung katawan ko yung bumigay."

"If there's one thing I learned sa nangyari sakin, it's that love and prayers are powerful. He," Matteo said as he pointed up. "Is powerful. When I lost hope, love from the people around me and prayers gave it back to me."