Just Live

Chapter 14

"The tumor in her brain is located in the area that's responsible for sensation. It is such a complex location that affects other functions of her brain too, that's why we can expect more than just the loss of sensation. Mr. and Mrs. Geronimo, Matt," the doctor said, looking directly in their eyes. "Sarah was completely aware of all of this and all the possible outcomes of the surgery."

The last words rang a bell in his mind and Matteo thought of how Sarah had been keen on staying to his left and holding his hand with her right, clinging to him and feeling his touch on that side of her body. She knew that was possible. She anticipated this deficit before she even went into surgery, which was why she drew a sketch of him and held on to him as if it was her last.

With the tumor situated in her left brain, Sarah knew the time might come when she could no longer hold Matteo's hand with her right, or feel his warmth on that side. More than all the other affected functions of her brain, it was what worried and hurt her most; to not feel Matteo's touch on her right side.

"The location of the tumor and manipulation of her brain during the surgery resulted to having a neurological deficit. I cannot say that it surprised us, because it didn't. We were just hopeful that it would not happen to her. When we did our initial neurological assessment after waking up from her coma, Sarah had no sensation to the right side of her body."

Matteo swallowed the lump in his throat as he listened to the neurologist explain to them in detail how Sarah's quality of life will be affected from that point on. That is, until she regains what she has lost. Recovery from the deficits may take weeks, or they may take months. The next few hours were challenging to him as he tried to wrap his head around his girlfriend's current condition.

He sat to her right, holding her right hand with tears in his eyes again, hoping that he knew about the possible deficit. He definitely would have been more attentive to her actions than he was. No matter how much he wished that he would have wanted to know, Matteo knew he had to focus on what else was to come. There was nothing he could do to prevent the deficit, but he can most certainly support her in regaining her sensation back and regaining a good quality of life. He scrunched his eyebrows as the doctor's words replayed in his mind. He looked at her intently, seeing the shaven part of her head with staples across the incision and wires and tubing still hooked up to her.

Because of the loss of sensation, Sarah's motor function is also compromised. She's going to need to undergo meticulous therapy sessions for this before we can proceed with radiation and chemotherapy.

As if it couldn't get any worse, the doctor's words continued to echo in his mind.

Unfortunately, Sarah's spacial sense was also affected. She is unable to recognize the position of her right limbs in relation to each other, and in relation to her surroundings. What this means is that, until this is corrected through intensive therapy and training, she will wake up again and again and be completely horrified when she can't see and recognize her own arm and leg.

Matteo closed his eyes and held her hand; each gentle squeeze he made on her hand had no effect on Sarah, she was still soundly asleep. While she couldn't feel his touch, it felt as though he felt every squeeze in his own heart. He knew she needed every ounce of support she could get to get through her situation because it wasn't even half of her battle against cancer. Radiation and chemotherapy are yet to come.

"I promise to be beside you all throughout your journey, bubba," Matteo whispered as he opened his eyes to look at her. "I promise you that. You have a long, long road ahead of you."

Matteo knew how difficult it was to lose the ability to sense touch and move on his own. He was in a state of paralysis after suffering a stroke and that was already difficult as it was; add on to that the inability to sense where parts of your body are in Sarah's case. But, it wasn't the time to sulk over her condition. He needs to help her see that she has not reached the dead end. She is nowhere near the end.