Just Live

Chapter 30

"Bella, ano ginagawa mo dito sa kwarto ng kuya mo? Let's go, anak."

"I'll be right there, Mom," Bella answered with a smile.

"Ano yang tinitignan mo? Hinihintay na nila tayo dun kina tita Gelli mo."

"I'll be down in a minute, Mom. Promise. I'm just grabbing something for kuya."

"Don't take too long, okay? Your dad and I will wait for you in the car."

Marge kissed the side of her daughter's head before walking out of Matteo's room. It's that time of year when the Geronimos and Guidicellis come together; what happened on that day many years ago has brought the two families closer than anyone could ever imagine.

When her mother walked out, Bella picked up a piece of folded paper that was tucked underneath a framed photo on her brother's desk.

In the frame was a sketch of Matteo, signed and dated six years ago by Sarah, just two months before her health took a turn for the worse. While Matteo was busy in the kitchen, Sarah had a strong urge and inspiration to draw. Even after not drawing for months, she pushed through it and came up with another sketch, her very first since her brain surgery. He was her last sketch before losing sensation and control to her right hand, and he was her first sketch after gaining most of the sensation and control back.

It was of Matteo cooking in the kitchen with an apron hanging around his neck. It was the day after they arrived back from their engagement trip and he took charge of the cooking duties to prepare a hearty meal for Sarah and both their families to celebrate the proposal. The sketch accurately depicted his dedication and eagerness to love and serve those around him. They were some of his qualities that Sarah loved most about him and she swore to herself to also love and serve him in the best way she could until her last breath. The sketch portrayed Matteo's love for her, and it also represented Sarah's appreciation for being blessed with his presence in her life.

On the folded paper was Sarah's handwriting.

My dearest Matt,

I used to ask God why I was hit with cancer at the prime of my life. I had my life planned out and I wanted to do so many things, like swim and compete, go to business school and graduate, put up my own little tiny business, and a lot more.

I kept asking Him why it had to be me, then I stopped asking questions and started appreciating the blessings that came after my diagnosis. I'm not saying that I know the reason why I got sick because only God knows, but I had ideas I learned to embrace.

Cancer taught me to appreciate the things I took for granted, like the presence of those I love, sharing meals and laughter, my independence, my strength, my comfort, and so many of the simple joys of life.

Cancer showed me that there is strength in acknowledging your weaknesses and realizing that God placed people in our lives for us to share all the good and bad with. I learned my physical and emotional limitations when I began asking for help, and doing so allowed me to know myself in ways I never thought was possible and grow as a person.

Cancer reminded me that life is meant to be lived and shared with others. It became my starting ground to help others live theirs. As I've said before, if I end up losing this battle, at least I was able to share my blessings and prolong someone else's life by sponsoring children. I used to not know what my purpose was in this world, and in my cancer diagnosis, I found the answer.

Most importantly, cancer paved the way to meeting you, Gianmatteo Guidicelli, one of my life's biggest blessings. Love, I learned so much from you and I will always be grateful for the realizations and wisdom you shared with me. You taught me one of the most important lessons I've come to know, and that is to just live. It is through you and our adventures that I've come to terms with my illness and fate. 

For those reasons, and many more, thank you, love. I will forever be grateful for you. My love, my bubba, you will always be in my heart, and you will always be my partner for life. What I would give to live more days to experience life's simple yet incredible moments with you, just like what this new sketch represents.

These past few months made me realize how extremely blessed I am, love. I want you to know that I'm happy and grateful for all the wonderful bonuses I experienced with you and because of you.

If you were to ask me again kung kontento na ako, here's my answer...

Yes, love. Kontento na ako. I've come to accept that this is God's plan for me and I'm exactly where He wants me to be.

Pero, hindi naman masamang mangarap pa rin, diba?

I continue to dream of having our own family, love, and of doing even the simplest of everyday tasks like cooking with you by my side. I dream of this sketch coming to life everyday as we go through life together and build a home full of love.

I love you, Matteo Guidicelli. I love you beyond words can ever tell, beyond actions can ever show. In this lifetime and the next, you will always be my partner for life.

With so much love,
Sarah