Between Truths ║Dahkook║K.DH J.JK

precious tears

CHAPTER XXVI

"Why would you ask for help?" It took all the patience she had left to keep her voice toned down. She hated it. Hated how they've been reduced to this...pitiful, grovelling mess. Her father, her mother, her brother, and her had always been enough. They were enough for themselves. So why...why did even that had to change.

"They're my siblings...they would help."

Dahyun hated it. Hated how her mom had reduced them to this...

"We don't need help," Dahyun gritted. Her temper painfully restrained. Only barely.

"Get off your high horse. I didn't raise you up to be this arrogant. You don't even help me with anything. You don't know what's going on!"

"Then call me! I would drop everything and come."

"Hah!" Her mother scoffed derisively, "You're all talk. You don't even help me with the laundry or the cooking or the house and now you're telling me you would help me? You'll be the last person to come and save me if I'm dying."

"You don't even call. You don't even know what I would do."

"It's not as if I don't know you."

"You told everyone your sob story. Most of them did not even reply you. And most of those are not even close to us...you're just...you're just telling everyone how much of a mess we are. I don't like that. I hate it."

"We are a mess. What about it? Is this a time for me to be taking care of your ego? I'm taking care of your brother. You don't know! You don't even care what's happening. You go to school and you pretend we don't exist. You don't know that I'm trying my best," Her mother started sobbing, "and you're here trying to tell me that I'm doing all this wrong?! Who are you? What right do you have?!"

'If I'm losing everything, at least I want to keep my pride. At least I know that I'm not helplessly drowning. At least I know I can control this. This is not my arrogance or my who, this is my sanity.' She wanted to scream. This is my independence. This is my fight to stay alive. To feel like at least something is going my way. But her mother would not listen. She never did. She would pounce on every word Dahyun would say like she was the enemy.

Every so often, Dahyun would overhear her conversation over the phone, and the words she always uttered was, 'she never helped.'

As if all she had been wrestling, and trying so hard for them was nothing. All those chores she did quietly when her mother could not get out of bed. Those wasted nightly trip home even when she was bonelessly tired just so they would feel less lonely. All those worries that were wearing her out. All those feelings of grief, anger, and sadness she set aside to be the punching bag because she was supposed to be the stronger one. All those times she gave up meeting friends and, her living her life because being with her family should be her priority.

All those things she did and, she did nothing. It was nothing. Whatever she did...it was never enough. She was not enough. Never would be.

She hated conversations with her mother. Hated them more and more. It was harder to understand that her mother was grieving. It was harder to ignore her anger. Because Dahyun was grieving too...where then should her feelings go?

'We've always been enough for us. I'm trying to believe that we could be enough for ourselves without dad. Why can't you see that you're making us think that we're nothing without him. How am I supposed to think that we're okay without him? How am supposed to feel as if I just lost my dad and not everything important?'