dear diary,
I picked up my Diary on a stick again, it feels good to have a more secret diary for my thoughts. I've been using it a lot lately, there are still very old entries from 3-4 years ago. I used this as a diary on our old family pc so i think some entries are even 5-6 years old, but i haven't looked at those, i can't bring myself to look either, i don't remember that time of my life and there are probably reasons for it, i don't want to bring those memories back. I'm grateful I had a safe place to store. All my thoughts and emotions back then because a diary wasn't safe to have at that time that's why the usb-stick was my safest option. i remember deleting some entries a few years ago, because they triggered me so bad, so the oldest ones aren't even there anymore, i vividly remember, going into the room where the pc stood, putting the USB stick inside the computer, opening a new word file and typing out all my thoughts and worries, then I would move the file on the stick and deleted the file off the computer as well as the trash bin. so at the end of the day it was only on the stick. how was i so clever at that age? I know my mom still tells me i was a 6 year old adult. I do remember taking care of my mom, telling her „it's gonna be ok" and cooking/preparing her meals and comforting her when she cried. I remember telling her „ i'll find a way to solve this" and giving her advice. I also did the laundry and went grocery shopping for her. Oh, and i remember going to my brothers room and telling him „ don't forget to do your homework" omg... this just unleashed so many memories of all the things i did. back then.
-ako
