STRAY KIDS au - Hyunlix

Chapter 36

WARNINGS // none (unless crying counts)

changin lovers, this is for you💞

980 words

Changbin's POV

The cold breeze blows on my face as I'm sitting on the lawn chair outside my family's vacation house, looking out into the water ahead of me. I'm lost in my thoughts until I hear a voice.

"Binnie?" Jeongin said, snapping me out of my trance.

"Hi Innie," I replied.

"Are you okay?" He asks me, sitting on the chair beside me.

"Yeah, just thinking," I tell him. Normally I'd invite 2 friends on the trip, but this time I only brought Innie. I don't feel like being with anyone else. Just him.

"What are you thinking about?" Jeongin asked me.

Should I tell him? Do I tell him how I feel? No, not now. There's no way he would feel the same way after what I've done.

"Binnie?" I snapped back to reality.

"I'm sorry," I began to cry, breaking down in front of one of my oldest friends, and recently recognized crush.

Jeongin didn't say anything. He just moved himself to my side, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me, tightly.

"Shh, Binnie. You apologized already, he forgave you, we all did. It wasn't something you could control," He comforted me. He's always good at that.

"But I shouldn't have ever gone near Felix, or touched him, or been so rude to Jisung, or ignored you all.. I'm such a bad person, Innie," I cried harder, my tears dripping onto his shirt.

"I don't care," He says. "I still love you."

My heart beats a bit faster at his words. Even if he means it platonically, that's just a natural reaction.

"I love you, Innie," I look up at him, creating eye contact that causes a pink dust to spread across both of our faces. He takes his slim fingers and wipes the tears off my face.

"Why don't we eat? Mina just finished cooking," Jeongin looks at me with soft eyes, his beautiful features making me feel like the previous moments didn't happen.

"Okay," I respond. He stands up, reaching his hand out for me to take. I take it with a small smile on my face, and we continue to hold hands until we reach the dinner table.

"Hi, hun," Mom says. "Do you feel okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired," I say, trying to discreetly wipe the tear stains off my face.

"I hope you're both hungry! Jeongin, here's your plate," Mom says as she hands Innie his plate.

"Thank you, Mina!" Innie says to my mom.

"No problem, sweetie," She smiles at him, getting a smile in return. I love his dimples, they're so cute. So are his eyes, and his nose, and his lips, and his hair, and his smile, and anything else I could name.

"Bin, here's your plate," Mom hands me the glass object.

"Thanks, Mom," I reply, tiredly.

We all take our share of food, eating quickly so we can get to our rooms, all of us tired from a long day of traveling.

Soon after, we finish eating, Innie and I excusing ourselves from the table and running up the stairs to our shared room.

"Yummy," Innie sighed as he laid on his bed, I followed suit, sitting on my bed. We sat in silence, neither having anything to say.

"I want to t-tell you something," I blurt out.

"Sure! What's up?" Innie sits up, climbing off his bed and onto mine. I sat there, not knowing what to say.

"Nevermind," I whisper.

"What is it?" He questions me.

"I don't remember what I was going to say," I whisper again.

"..Okay," He says, suspicious of my actions. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I reply, head down.

"No, you're not Binnie. Don't lie to me, you know I can see past that," He reminds me. He may not have mind reading, but I know he can read my mind.

"I'm mad at myself," I say, beginning to tear up. He takes my hands into his own, squeezing them tightly.

"I did terrible things Innie," I cry. He squeezes my hands, as if saying it's okay, and to keep talking.

"I tried to rape Felix, I yelled at Jisung and said terrible things to him, I ignored you all and yelled at you when you confronted me about it, and I still have the nerve to think there's a chance you like me more than as a friend," I could see his face contort in confusion and sadness to realization.

"Oh, Binnie," He leans in and wraps his arms around me. "Don't think for even a second I don't like you. You are one of the most important people in my life, and I love you, so so much, more than just a friend" He whispers in my ear, caressing my back. "You are an amazing person, you're just having a tough year and I know you will get through it. And I will be there every step of the way if you need help."

Innie lifts my head from his shoulder, looking in my eyes. Another tear falls from my eye and he wipes it. I stare at his beautiful face. Soft skin, smooth hair, perfect features, plump lips.

"Can I kiss you?" I ask him. He seems startled, almost scared, which scares me too.

"You can say no, I get it if you don't want to," I drop my head again.

"You can kiss me," He whispers. I look up, making eye contact with the younger before our lips connected.

The kiss was soft, our lips carefully pressing against one another as if we could both break.

He pulls away, looking in my eyes.

"I love you, and you need to know that."

We lay down on my bed, sliding under the covers and hugging each other until we fall asleep.

CHAPTER 36.