It's been four years since that happened.
Since I murdered my own father for his stupid acts. It... still hurt nonetheless. But I was glad the experiments stopped. But the effects of it all, I still feel it. Time to time.
Ever since mother passed... father had changed. Became a drunk... abusive to me even. I was so young... too scared to fight back. Eventually, I couldn't even if I wanted to.
What he did, took so much of a toll on my body, I was... at some point confined to a wheelchair. Becoming worse every minute, every second. I was dying and he knew it. Yet, he insisted. Eventually... I succumbed to my injuries and whatever happened then. I don't know.
I just thought that maybe...
Just maybe... he was doing it all for a good cause.. when it was indeed his own selfish reasons. I was a fool to even think such a thing.
Maybe I'm the reason I died before.
But that stuff he created... somehow brought me back but I didn't feel normal. I felt.. something that was no longer human. I felt stronger... more rage filled... and that's why he died.
I got him back for everything he did, but I know.. part of it was because I couldn't control myself. Now I'm here left with nothing but myself. I had to figure out what the hell I was going to do to keep myself going.
That's when I meant a certain individual.. Claudio.
This was no ordinary person. He ran his own gang. Mafia per say. Those were well known around Italia, especially in big cities like Rome.
He took me under his wing.. old guy he was. Looked like he could've kicked rocks any day, but he saw something in me. I didn't know what it was at the time, but he thought I could help him out. Now why would I want to be associated with this right?
It was a hell of a lot easier than looking for a normal job. Why turn this down when opportunity was right in the palm of my hand? You bet I took his offer. I took it and ran with it.
Claudio became the father figure I wish I had in those lost years of my own treating me any kind of way. He taught me survival, instincts, how to do things I would have never thought of doing. I trusted no one. And he knew that. And it was for good reason. He was the only one who gained that even after what I went through.
Though.. that all came to an end one way or another.. he's just passed and it's heavy on me. Always has been, but I've taken on the responsibility to keep his legacy going. These people are now mine. The family I've made my own.
Some call it nothing but a gang. But I don't think it's true. They are my people.
Ones who listen.. ones who don't try shit with me. They know better. They know better than to...
.....
The rage within me. It speaks out sometimes. A clear mind is what I need.. I'll be putting my pen down now.
