Tommys day has been the worst. He started feeling like shit like every year. Of course this was normal the whole year around but in winter it got worse , it was his depression. He started to feel little to no motivation to even stand up , wished to not wake up the next day , looked at sharp object for a few seconds too long that he even scared himself.
He had made himself a promise just two months after he arrived at this house. He promised himself that he will make this work. That he will fight his depressions and the longing to die. He wanted to make it to the one year line.. He needed to live.. he knew he had.
His day had been the worst till now , he had been at school and his best friends were both not at school. Then people were being mean and on his way home it rained. When he arrived at the house he was soaking wet and he hated it. He hated the feeling of clothes sticking to his skin , he hated the feeling of wet hair on his forhead , he hated the feeling of being alone and he absolutelly hated the feeling of not belonging.. of wanting to die. The pain he felt as he thought about everything he hated was so bad he just started to dig his nails into his skin.. he started scratching his arms , it made him feel better.. but when he was done and stopped he regretted it.. he was two months clean from last time and now this... He cried and cried till he couldnt anymore.
He got changed and stayed in his room for the rest of the afternoon. Wilbur and Techno had both been begging for him to let them in or to come out of his room but he didnt want to. He stayed in his room.
He just sat in his room , on his bed, and suddenly the bedsheet started feeling wrong , uncomfortable and just.. wrong. He threw his blanket off the bed , then his pillow , but the feeling didnt get better. Frustrated he jumped off the bed and threw of his hoodie , then his T-shirt. He sobbeb and sobbed , everything felt wrong but he also felt exposed to he sobbed louder. He sobbed so loud Phil could hear it when he arrived home.
He opened the front door and the first thing he had heard was Tommy. His youngest was sobbing his heart out , he quickly put his shoes and jacket away before running up to Tommys room. Techno and Wilbur were already begging him to be let him , the door was locked.
"Tommy?!" He yelled and tried to open the door "Tommy ,sweetheart its me!" He said , he hoped Tommy would open the door but the sobbing just got louder
"I'm going to open the door okay?" he said , he got out the second key for the door and sighed out of reliefe when he could unlock it. "you two wait here.. i will handle this" He told the twins and went inside , he saw the blanket , the pillow and all the plushys on the floor , he saw Tommy trashing around , yanking at his hair as he sat on the floor crying and sobbing his heart out. He also saw the cuts.. all the scratches but he ignored them to help his son. He ran over and guided his hands out of his hair "hey. hey.." he said "shhh..."
"its okay.. its okay.." he whispered , he slowly pulled Tommy into a hug , Tommy held onto him slowly calming down. "shhh... youre okay.. i'm here now.." He whispered and Tommy moved closer.
It took ten minutes till Tommy completly calmed down , they had moved against a wall , Tommy pulled away and sat next to Phil. He looked over to him but didnt say anything , Phil stood up leaving the room and returned a few seconds later with a soft green hoodie.
"here mate , is this okay?" He softly asked , handing it to Tommy. He took it and put it on
"yes.. thank you.." He sniffed and Phil smiled at him
"no problem mate.. what was going on huh? Did something happen?" He asked
"i... My depression is getting worse again and it was just all so much today that i just started scratching my arms , then everything started feeling wrong so i threw everything off of my bed and then threw my hoodie to the stuff , my T-shirt suddenly also started feeling wrong and then i was just so overwhelmed that i started screaming-" He rambled
"ok ok- your depression are back huh?" Phil sighed and Tommy nodded , they all knew they hadnt been gone but for the last two months Tommy had been getting better.
"Its okay.. we'll help you" Phil said and Tommy nodded with a small smile , he really hoped he could be saved..
"I-ehm.. i have this urge to c-cut again.." Tommy then confessed . He knew that Phil would help.. he always does. So Tommy let Phil clean his cuts ,let him make sure Tommy didnt have anything sharp hidden. Tommy let Phil handle it..
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Tommyinnits first good christmas!!
FanfictionTommy had been staying with the Watsons since March , so since nine months. Everything had been crazy for him so far , he got things he never got before, like love , people who listens to him , people that understand him , and he even had friends an...
