Beautiful

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Elle's POV

I have the tendency to have strange daydreams. Or even dreams in general. Last night is a perfect example. Except I was the one instead of my brother. And I almost saw the entire face of the perpetrator.

But now that Zayn's near me, I dream about him. Nothing normal either. I constantly think about his lips on mine, his dark brown eyes locked with my gray ones, and his fingers slowly intertwining with mine.

It's an uncontrollable urge to contain. I constantly want to feel contact with him. If I don't feel his hand on mine or his arm around me, I feel alone. It's something I've always experienced, but never like this.

I've been infinitely dreaming about that one kiss that you can only experience for the perfect first time. I want it to be his. I've had moments with others before but they didn't feel... Special. They felt dead, no spark. That's how I know who the one is. And normally if they come around more than once.

But that doesn't even matter now. I'm here with the sunlight streaming through my window as I watch his sleep. His eyelashes brush the top of his cheeks as he dreams. His lips are barely parted and his eyebrows furrow from time to time. I can't help but smile at his appearance.

He looks so... Perfect. Before, I've always said he wasn't anything but a quiet kid. He's so much more. And I regret never seeing that before. But everyone disregarded him. I know they have. Even several of my teammates were shocked when they found out about us. They were part of the group who talked about him sometimes. I unfortunately had to be around.

I close my eyes and smile. I don't know why but it feels right. Everything I've already been through with Zayn just brings so many emotions at once. I can't choose what to feel so I simply smile at the thought of him.

I look back to his face and notice a strand of his black hair fell over his eyes. I brush it away and he mumbles.

"Elle?" he says.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Time to get up!" I reply, pulling the duvet off of him. He laughs.

"C'mon. It's too early to deal with you."

"Get up, lazy!" I grab a pillow and hit his shoulder. He groans then laughs.

"Elle, please," he says with a smile on his face. I grab his hands and pull him up. He doesn't budge, but pulls me down to him.

"My mum will be home soon. She always expects me up. That means you too, you know," I say, standing back up.

"I'm still not moving," he mumbles. I continue to hold his hands in mine.

"Fine. I suppose I have no other choice..." I pick up the pillow again and begin hitting him.

"Oh my gosh. Fine," he groans. He rolls over and finally stands up to his towering height over me. I smile and start making my bed. He leaves to the other room. I check my phone and see we have no practice. Good. I was too tired anyway.

I quickly change and go through my morning routine. I walk past the guest room and see Zayn changing back into his other shirt. He stops me.

"Hey, Elle. You weren't up this morning to fold my clothes and lay them on the bed were you?" he asks. I lean on the doorframe.

"No... Oh shit..." I mumble.

"What is it?" he says, pulling the t-shirt over his perfectly sculpted body. Of course I tried to resist staring. But I couldn't.

"Mum must already be home. She always does that when we have a guest. She always feels the need to be their second mother. It's weird."

"Oh. I mean, I just didn't know."

"Do you think she knows now?" I whisper. He thinks for a second.

"Maybe. But who cares? I'd love to show you off anytime," he replies. I smile.

"Then how about we sit down and talk? All three of us. I think she'd really like you, Zayn." He dismisses the idea.

"No. Most people don't."

"Hey! You'd be surprised, Mr. Pessimistic," I reply. He grins at his feet. I stand closer to him and put my arms around him. "Give it a chance?" I ask. His arms move around me and he nods.

"Only for you, Elle." He kisses my forehead, and we go downstairs together.

"So she's probably asleep. We'll have to fend for ourselves," I explain.

"Are you sure you aren't tired of me being here?" he asks. I chuckle.

"No! I love when you're here. It gets lonely around here sometimes."

"Oh I'm sure," he says. I laugh.

"It really does!" We sit down at the table. It gets silent as we both think of what to say. There's nothing really to say. Words can be left unspoken and it wouldn't matter.

"Does it ever get... Hard to remember?" he asks.

"Wh- what do you mean?"

"You know. Your brother."

"Oh," I say quietly. "Sometimes I think of him. But it's the past, I guess. No need to live in it. You know?" I answer.

He nods with the slightest grin on his face. I wonder what he's thinking...

"My sisters and I used to get in the biggest trouble. We'd play tag in the stores and play hide and seek. Mum would always have a fit," he says, smiling at the memory.

"We used to do that," I answer with a bittersweet feeling overtaking my heart, making it sink lower into my chest. I look down and wring my hands in my lap. "Sometimes I'll walk by his room. And sometimes I swear I'll hear him say, 'Hey, Elle!' and make an L with his fingers and put them to his forehead, basically calling me a loser." I smile. "And sometimes I wish he was still here to do that."

He places his hand on mine. I look up and meet his comforting eyes. The soft look tells me he understands perfectly. His thumb glides across the top of my hand.

Maybe the boy who everyone saw as the tough, quiet guy is actually more. Maybe they were wrong. No. They are wrong. He knows what it's like. Yet no one understands that. He had no choice but to have such a facade. After all he's been through, I'd do the same. But he knows. Someone knows.

"Sometimes you don't realize what you have until you lose it. This is why I'm never going to lose you or leave you. Too much heartache can turn you away from everyone. One day, we'll do something I haven't done in a while together. Until then, I'm here," he says gently.

I can't even get out any words. I open my mouth to speak but no sound comes out. I think he understands. I try to say "Thank you" but I just look ridiculous with my mouth hanging open.

He grins at me. I'm pretty sure he gets the idea. I shake my head and laugh to myself.

"You know, I don't think anyone has ever said something like that to me. Even if they did, they didn't mean it. I'm hoping you'll be the first to mean it," I say.

"Trust me. I mean it. If I didn't, I wouldn't say it."

"I'm just glad I have you." I immediately feel embarrassed because my words slipped. I can say any thought at the wrong time. I'm just not sure which part was wrong- time or place?

"Why are you blushing?" he asks with a smile spreading on his cheeks.

"No particular reason..."

"Uh-huh. I know you. You just embarrassed yourself, didn't you?" he asks.

"Okay fine. I just hope you didn't hear." He laughs.

"Yeah, but... I'm really glad to have you too."