Of Phoenix Tears and Demon Blood

30 - Mourn

The woman approached the house, every step thumping against the ground, echoing in rhythm to match the pounding of my heartbeat. She held a torch that burned so brightly, I could see nothing but it.

I wanted to scream and thrash and stop her. I had to stop her. But I couldn't move, I was being held back by invisible chains and my mouth could not open to speak.

The woman marched to the door, her dark auburn hair waving in the night breeze behind her. She turned around to look at her. Blood dripped from her forehead and her face crumbled inwards. She smiled, a broad smile that stretched from cheek to cheek. I stood there watching, completely powerless to stop her, trapped in the expanse of my own mind. She touched the door with her torch.

The house instantly was covered in searing flames. They raced up the walls and the roof had caved in. Fire danced against the night sky as screams echoed from within.

I silently begged and pleaded, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to cry. The woman stared at me. Her head began to cave her, the dent growing larger, sucking in her face.

The door of the house swung open, right through the woman. Her body evaporated. I rushed out, my face covered in soot, dragging a ten-year-old Cassia behind me. My heart leapt. Cassia cried, her hair scorching from the heat of the flames and her body blackened by ash. I – younger me, my face rounder and hair shorter – turned around to see the house just as the roof caved in with a crash and the splintering of wood.

Time danced forward, the actions of the world around me were just a blur. My stumbles out of the house were a run, and the running of the guardsmen was an indistinct haze. The fire danced, impossibly fast. They dragged pare's body out from the burning house and declared them dead. They held me back as they announced that mother's body was unrecoverable.

I felt cold. It didn't matter. I was dreaming. I couldn't save them now, just as I couldn't save them the hundreds of other times I'd had this dream, just as I couldn't save them the day it had actually happened. In moments, they would rip away Cassia from me, declare her a ward of the state and send me off to the war camp. I couldn't change that either, no matter how much I cried or fought.

The guards appeared, along with a member of the town's council. He said something to me and my face twisted with fury. I lunged at him and they slapped a red sand bracelet on me as they dragged her away from me. I lunged forward – even knowing that I couldn't save Cassia, even knowing that I couldn't save my younger self – but someone appeared behind me, holding me back. I could feel his warm calloused hands, the strength of his arms as he fought against my straining body. I turned around to see the Oathbreaker staring at me. He said something incomprehensible in this world of dreams. His face, emotionless, melted away before my eyes. His skin peeled and dripped away, running like blood from the body, revealing nothingness beneath. Cassia screamed.

I jolted awake.

I sat upright. My heart raced and sweat trickled down from my forehead. My ragged breathing cut through the silence of my room. A quick glance out my window revealed that the moon Ithwyn had barely moved in the night sky – I hadn't been asleep long.

A dark figure sat in my armchair and my heart jumped in panic before I realized that it was Audrey. She tucked something into the folds of her dress as she stood up. She walked forward into the moonlight peeking in from my window. She was dressed in an elegant emerald dress that gathered at her hips before cascading downwards into a full shirt. Lace lined its sleeves and the neckline, which a gold necklace hung above.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, my voice hoarse. I untangled my clammy body from my twisted bed sheets. "You should be at the ball." Now that I listened, I could faintly hear the music soaring from below us.