Caught in the Fire

Chapter VIII: Tears of an Angel

"I'm sorry, Detective. I can't kill another brother."

Lucifer sat beside Michael's unconscious form on that island off the coast of California, waiting for him to wake up. This was it. He'd ruined his chances at defeating Michael, and now, he was going to Hell forever. He wouldn't see another tomorrow. He'd never see Chloe again. And all because he was too weak to kill Michael.

"Wake up, you royal angelic prick," Lucifer said in Michael's direction, glaring at him, "And let's get this over with."

Moments later, he watched as Michael woke up with a loud gasp. His eyes darted around in confusion, then he rolled on to his stomach and dragged himself back to his feet, swaying, looking disoriented. He suddenly cried out grabbed at his shoulder, hissing loudly. As he rubbed his aching shoulder, he took in his surroundings in order to place himself, then his gaze fell upon Lucifer.

"About bloody time," Lucifer said, noticing his discomfort that even affected his posture, making one shoulder look higher than the other, and he felt yet another pang of guilt. "Did I hurt you, brother?"

"I am fine," Michael growled as he rolled his aching shoulder and shook his arm before standing up straight, squaring off his shoulders. "I allowed myself to be distracted, but never again."

"It won't happen again," Lucifer said, not looking up at him. He hanged his head, shaking it, feeling tears stinging his eyes, thinking about the agony of killing Uriel and then burying him in some unmarked grave. "I thought about killing you. I was tempted. But I couldn't do it, brother."

"You almost killed me?" Michael asked in astonishment, then his eyes narrowed in anger. "I said that you would be capable of anything near the end, even of killing your own twin, but I thought..." He seemed at a loss for words and even sad, or disappointed, or both. "After you lit the Flaming Sword and prevented a war in Heaven... I hoped that you would prove me wrong."

"I don't want to abandon my home," he said, his voice wavering with emotion, and he realized that he was justifying himself. Maybe Michael was right, and that justifying himself was what he always did. "But I'd rather die than watch another brother's light leave his eyes."

"And yet, you almost killed me." Michael was furious; he could tell. He hadn't heard him so angry since the rebellion. Even the tides seemed to respond to his anger by rising and crashing against each other. And with a heavy heart, he realized that maybe the battle was truly over after all. "Just like Uriel."

"I won't do it," he told him with tears in his eyes as he avoided his brother's penetrating gaze. The ground seemed to tremble underneath him, and he couldn't understand it. Was it an earthquake? But it seemed to be centered around them as opposed to rocking the entire beach. "I won't bury another brother."

***

Lucifer walked through the woods with his brother's body on his shoulder, dragging the shovel behind them, feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, forcing himself to keep going even though he wanted nothing more than to end it all. He couldn't rest until the task was done, and so, he pushed on through his exhaustion.

Finally, he found a beautiful tree in the middle of nowhere beneath the stars he helped create with Michael. He gently set his brother down on the ground, and walked beneath the tree with the shovel in hand. He started digging his brother's grave, frustrated with the multitude of rocks getting in the way, having to dig around them and toss them out one by one. Every time he brought the shovel down into the earth, or dig out yet another rock, he felt like he lost another piece of his soul in that grave.

Eventually, Lucifer was done digging a hole big enough for his brother's remains. He dropped the shovel and went to pick up his brother's body, his hands trembling with emotion. Slowly, gently, he climbed down into the hole and laid his brother's body to rest. That soul-crushing feeling in his chest was still there, making it hard to breathe. What was that feeling that had been haunting him since he destroyed Uriel's soul? Was it guilt? He knew what guilt was; he'd seen enough humans driven down to Hell by their own guilt and trapped in Hell Loops, but he had never felt it before. No wonder humans punished themselves for eternity in Hell.