Wicked Games Academy

CHAPTER 29

Jonathan ordered for men to come over and they had the curtains rolled up as well as the large carpets.

"A knight household should not be stingy for such events," he said briskly as Clive and I stood by, watching the men decorate the place.

The curtains were a soft maroon and had tassels, while the carpet was dark blue with repeating dark brown designs. Of course, blue like our family.

"Is the ballroom not going to be used to dance?" Clive asked.

Jonathan sighed. "When knight families throw balls to meet suitable marriage partners, they are inviting them to what is more like a prolonged stay while socializing most nights together. It's important to have connections and friends first, and then from there we marry which family has more use."

"You sound like father," I hissed, and I looked to Jonathan, only a bit taller than me. My eyes must've been defiant because he looked away like a guilty dog.

We had all been drilled by father to the point we were unable to rebel. Jonathan, too, had a scarred back, although it's been years since I saw it.

"You were kind once," I reminded him softly.

"We have to marry. We have to—we have to be useful for father. He's been waiting to gather up some pawns and I'll marry who he chooses. What do you think I can do against that man?" Jonathan's voice was low, maybe so Clive didn't hear.

"Be your true self. Smile. I know you can love someone." I looked at him and he didn't respond.

"I'll busy myself eating the food," Clive joked, maybe to lighten the mood. "Nathan, have fun socializing!"

I have Jonathan a glance and he groaned. "Vagrant, you are to socialize with him. Don't sit around like Daniel. For your age there's both Heloise Leon and Carmine Wordsworth."

"Why are you letting me be?" Clive asked, wary.

"There's no sense in fighting my brother's friend and partner, isn't there?" Jonathan smiled and left to tell the men to put the curtains up, and he brought them chairs.

"He's a nice brother," Clive said.

"He's like father. Daniel and I always felt inferior, and most of all, we knew we had no right to when Jonathan worked and suffered so hard for this." I clutched my fists.

Jonathan would marry anyone our father chose, and be heir. I couldn't help but imagined Jonathan, who locked away his emotions and notions of love, regretting it in the future.

Most of all, I didn't want him to become father, and the Rottings House would forever continue in a vicious cycle.

Clive held my arm and I turned to him, snapping out of it.

"What it is?" I asked.

"I don't know. Your sad face doesn't make me happy." Clive seemed a bit out of it and released my arm. "It scared me for a moment."

"I thought you enjoyed my suffering," I snapped, reminded of what he said back in school.

"I did."

Anger rose. "Your love is infantile. You like me for simple reasons but you don't truly care for me to the depth you would suffer so I wouldn't have to."

Clive seemed shocked, and words I thought of repeatedly at night appeared one by one.

"I feel distant from you. I'm scared of you. Most of all, you're not normal!" I whispered the next words. "You like killing."

Clive didn't deny it.

I glared at him and he put on a this smile I wouldn't say sad, but it was like how a grownup looks at a child, thinking they were naive and weak.