The Alphabet Theory

Chapter 1

It started on the thirty-first of August when I was waiting for my therapist. I looked around the room that's walls had been painted with butterflies and rainbows in hopes that the person going there would feel a sense of comfort when they walked into the room. I started going to Aaron when my anger issues got out of hand. Which was always. I was emotionally and sometimes when I got really angry, I would get physically hurtful, but not as much as when I was younger. The physical side of me began at an early-ish age, { hence why I was considered 'the devil's spawn.'} When I was around eight, I moved from Dublin to Mirkwood in Clovehill and it was a big change. I didn't know how to speak English. it started when a twelve-year-old boy was picking on me for not wanting society expected me to be, which was a perfectly normal little lady, and for having trouble with speaking English since I had only just moved from my home in Dublin. Then, I just saw red and snapped, I punched him in the nose, giving him a slight nosebleed as well as a bruise and went back to my book as soon as he ran off screaming and crying as if it was the most painful thing he had ever endured and, if he was as much of an asshole towards others as he was to me, he has probably endured many. He was a massive drama king. Since this incident occurred in my school, my actions resulted in my suspension but since I 'didn't learn from my mistakes' it also eventually led to my expulsion. Much to my disappointment, my parents weren't upset for me, they were only upset about their reputation around town

'Oh Valerie, why must you always follow trouble? Why can't you just stay in a school where the principal doesn't expel you for acting out? At this point, you're practically famous in our town for your outbursts. You are such a disappointment troubled child. You need to repent to God. Only he can save you now.' My father sighed in exasperation when I got kicked out of my second school. Both my parents hated [and still do] who I was and that wouldn't change, so why should I? All I thought of at that moment was that I was basically famous. It sounded cool. However, the reality was that I was considered a disappointment to my family. Even though I probably shouldn't have thought that.

Then there was the time when my mother yelled at me when I got kicked out for the fourth time 'Do you know what they say about the family? They called you a devilish freakshow for fucks sake! Do you know how embarrassing that is for us to see people whispering about us behind our backs whenever we go anywhere in town? Stop acting like an eejit and grow up! You're lucky you aren't in jail for attempted murder! I don't think you realize just how serious this is Valerie! ' my mother screeched when I got expelled for pushing a teacher down the stairs, putting him in hospital with a damaged spinal cord and broken bones in his arm. I have been "grown up" for years. Never do I ask for anything, I do work around the house, and I cook dinner when my parents are gone doing whatever they're doing. I have grown up but my parents weren't there to notice it. They refuse to admit that the screwed up when I was a child. Even though I did not attempt to murder him they tried to press charges but somehow my parents convinced them not to. If I wanted to kill someone I wouldn't fail to do so. If I wanted to I could and would.The main reason as to why I did it was because he said that I was a worthless piece of shitthat I will never amount to anything and that I deserved to die for what I did. He crossed a line that day. No one believed that he said that when I told them why I did it because he was allegedly 'A model citizen.' I have never understood my parents, therefore I don't have that great of a relationship with others, which is probably why I hate everyone, I suppose. I heard footsteps that I quickly learned a while ago belonged to Aaron. I was right as per usual. He always wears the same spotty socks but in different colours. He would always wear old people shoes that my dad would wear to mass. He goes on Wednesdays and Sundays for "Sabbath Day" or something like that. My parents are very orthodox Christians [which isn't a bad thing.] and would always make me go to Sunday mass with them, I only went because Father Ryan was really funny. Vincent says that they can't "make me" go to mass, but he has never had to witness my parents when they are set on something, thank god. He wouldn't last a second. Aaron walked into the room and sat down in the seat in front of mine 'Hello Valerie, how are you feeling today?' He asked in a voice that you might use with a six-year-old.