Obsession [ BXB ]

Chapter 20

Calvin's POV.

Yet another day begins when I couldn't feel my beloved, another day when I can't hear him giggling, another day when I can't feel his warm arms wrapped around me. But why can't I do any of that? Oh, I remember now, because of my sins. My sins were the reason what costed me my love. But why did i do that again? Why did I killed him?

A year ago.

'' Parker hurry up !'' somebody yelled. I was so stoned with everything that i took last night that my eyelids could barely open up. But even then this sweet voice ringed in my ears. I wanted to see who was the source of this voice but i couldn't, my body wasn't allowing me to do so.

Even then, after much protest and fighting with my innerself I decide to open my eyes and boy, wasn't I glad that i did. The boy was standing across a giant tree, his hairs were messy with all the sweat, he was still huffing up, probably catching his breath but even then the light was shining on his face. That sweet face, that sweet boy became my reason of existence. His innocent face, his charming smile became the light in my darkness.

After adoring the boy who was standing few meters away from me, I looked around and saw that I had passed out on a bench, my clothes pretty much dirty after all the crazy things that i did in the party. I was stinking with the smell of the drinks that i had last night. I should've controlled myself last night.

I stood up from my misery and begin to look at the boy and his action, while making sure that it wouldn't look suspicious so I did the smartest thing that come to mind. I put my hand in the pocket taking out a cigarette and my lighter, i started smoking while enjoying the view in front of me. However, my happiness was short lived as the person he was calling up, followed him soon.

He came rushing up to him and then picking him up in his arms, he too was sweaty but the boy giggled in his arms. My jaw clenched for some unknown reason, it was like my sub-conscious mind was laying some sort of claim on him. But who was this Parker?

Before I could get an answer to my question, both of them took off laughing with each other and talking but their voices were not audible to me. Soon they both vanished away as they walked away from me. Once I had finished smoking, I came to a decision that i should get to know about him even more.

But a question was constantly coming my mind and that was I had seen him somewhere but where?

The next day, I was walking to the school when a similar face appeared in front of me, it was the same boy but something was different this time, he was not laughing instead he was sitting on the ground with his books all on the ground. As it appears to me, the bus had left the poor boy on the streets, wait a minute, now I remember, he was in my school.

Oh what a pleasant day that was.

Back to current time.

"Wake up Jenns!" The jailer barked at me as he hit the bars with the rod, making me come out of my sweet memory, I groaned in agony as I had to now get out of my cell and go for the morning head count after which we had our breakfast.

" Look who it is" said an inmate followed with a spit infront of me. "A fag, who killed his boy toy" said another before the entire crowd of inmates gave me side eye. Given what I had to see daily in my life this wasn't even close. So I barely paid any heed to their words or any taunts that came my way.

After the head count the rest of the day went like the usual, the eyes of others followed my moments like a hawk preying on his prey. What would they know about the hell that I was carrying in my heart. I know I wasn't supposed to kill him but it just happened.

Then came the time for my therapy when I had to meet that doctor, I didn't even remember the name but nevertheless I had to go and meet her.

In her office, I was handcuffed for safety purposes but it was not necessary really since, I wasn't going to hurt her. Now all that I wish was just to welcome death in his arms so that me and Micah could reunite and no one would hurt him.

"So, Mr. Jenns let's pick up from where we left, shall we?" she said as she placed her notepad on the desk and sat in front of me on her chair, she clicked the pen before saying again," Who was Micah?" she asked that particular question again.

Last when she asked me that question, I can't say for sure what had gotten into me, probably because the way she asked that question must have triggered some hidden emotions of mine. But this time it was different probably because this time I was ready to answer.

"What do you want me to say about Micah?" I asked.

"Anything really, as long as it is about him"

"He was my boyfriend whom I loved dearly" she wrote that down

" Tell me about him more, from your perspective like why did you love him?"

"Why did I loved him? What was there to hate about him? He was sweet and kind, always ready to help everyone around him while all everybody did was just to hurt him. I loved his smile the most, his carefree smile, one look on his smiley face and one could easily forget all the bad things happened to them"

"Why do you mean by everybody always hurt him?"

"He was not perfect, I admit but who is? He admitted his flaws but others didn't, they used that for their own fun and joy. They would always pick up on him because he was too fragile to fight back. They would use him to get what they wanted, they always did" somehow my jaw was clenching at that.

I stopped in the middle as I realized that maybe she might not be listening to me entirely but she was a good listener, I'd give her that. "Go on. Don't stop." she said as her eyes were fixed on me while her hands were writing.

"There also was a time when somebody gained his trust, pretended to be his friend only to make him as a laughing stock for the entire school"

"With that are you referring to Ryan?"

"Yes, he got what we deserve"

"You mean by you Raping him and making a video of that before making it viral on the internet."

"He made him a laughing stock, so I made him a shit show in front of the world"

"If you were so protective of him, why didn't you use any other methods, any civilized methods, rather than going to such extremes"

"Cause that wouldn't give me any satisfaction."

"What would you do with satisfaction, with hurting those who wronged your beloved as you said?"

"I uh-" I was at loss of words and at most why do I have to explain myself to this bitch here, maybe I should punch her.

"Isn't that what you would do? I mean you obviously must have loved someone in your life, doc. Wouldn't you do exactly what I did?"

"No" she said plainly like it was nothing

"No! that is too patronizing" I snickered at that before continuing "we all pretend that we would use the way of peace but in reality, when times like these come, when our blood is up, you would do exactly the same thing. You might disagree but you cannot deny the fact that everybody has a monster in them. A monster who, once unleashed on the world will wreck havoc. We became criminals for doing that but you get to judge us? " I couldn't be any more angry.

" YOU, WHO ALWAYS TURNED YOUR BACK TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN NEED, PEOPLE WHO COULD BE SAVED AND ONCE THEY BECOME MONSTER , THEN YOU WANT TO HELP THEM?" The rage inside me was welling up to such an extent that i got up from my chair and I could feel the chains gripping me.

"Guards!" she shouted.

"I AM NOT THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO BE SAVED. YOU ARE THE ONE, FROM WHOM OTHERS NEED TO BE SAVED." with that the guards came in and thrashed me around to calm me down.