Compound 41

Chapter 30

"Thank you for meeting me" Evelyn began formally, not sure where or how to begin.

"Evelyn, I'm sorry" Jackson interrupted, unable to hold it in any longer. "I'm sorry I just showed up at your place. I can only imagine how creepy that must have seemed. I'm sorry if I scared you yesterday, and I'll back off if you want. I would never do anything hurt you, please believe that."

Evelyn was a little startled by Jackson's outburst. She had figured that she would need to confront the issue and be the one to address it head on. It caught her off guard that he dove right in and immediately addressed her biggest concern.

"How did you know where I live?" she asked, trying to show no emotion. She felt that she needed to remain as aloof and indifferent as possible, if she were going to be able to determine for herself whether or not Jackson was trustworthy.

Jackson leaned back in his seat, and Evelyn was pretty sure he was actually blushing at her question.

"I followed you home, that first night, after I saw you here" he mumbled without making eye contact, and instead looking at his fumbling hands that rested on the table in front of him.

"Why?" Evelyn asked, not being able to conceal the note of alarm that betrayed her genuine concern at Jackson's response.

Jackson sighed, before looking up and staring directly into Evelyn's eyes.

"Because I fell in love with you the moment I saw you" Jackson said with conviction.

Evelyn looked around nervously, unable to keep the eye contact with Jackson. The intensity with which he was looking at her, seemed to bore into her soul. It seemed to ignite something inside, her heart-rate picked up immediately and she felt like her body was on fire. But she was just as scared by Jackson's admission as she was intrigued by it. She was afraid, but felt like she needed to hear more.

"That's not real" she argued. "People don't just fall in love at first sight."

"Well, I can tell you that I've never felt this way about anyone else before, and I'm sorry if that scares you. But when I saw you that night, I knew I had to meet you. Following you home was rash and irresponsible, but I felt like I just needed to make sure you were safe. I don't know how else to explain it."

Evelyn wasn't sure what she had hoped to hear in explanation for Jackson knowing where she lived, but this certainly wasn't what she had expected. It seemed inconsistent to her with who she thought Jackson was. If he had been honest with her, about never having really dated before, and never being that interested in anyone prior, how does someone like that just suddenly fall in love at first sight? And then decide to follow that person home without even speaking to them? It didn't make sense to her.

"If you were so in love with me that first night, why didn't you even try to say hello?" she asked. "And then why did you stand me up the night after the wedding, when we had talked about getting a drink together?" she followed up.

"That first night it felt too complicated" Jackson said. "You were with friends, I was trying to figure it all out in my head for myself, and it didn't make sense."

"Ok" Evelyn felt like that was at least a reasonable enough excuse for not speaking to her that first night, so she moved on. "Then what about standing me up? If you were already in love with me" she said with sarcasm, "then why didn't you show up?"

"I was with Dante" Jackson said. "He was working and needed my help. We got busy and I left my phone in his car, and didn't see your message until the morning."

Evelyn didn't care for the answer, but it seemed plausible enough. She wasn't quite sure how to combat that, and Jackson had asked her out and taken her on a lovely date after missing the first chance to meet up. She sat there for a moment in thought, not sure what to ask next.

"I'm sorry for scaring you" Jackson reiterated again. "I shouldn't have just shown up at your apartment, especially after you told me you weren't free to get together."

"Why did you come over, then?" she challenged again. "After I told you I wasn't available."

"You stopped answering my calls, and I had to be sure you were ok." Jackson responded with a shrug. "And I really wanted to see you again." He followed up sheepishly.

"I've lived here my entire life, never gotten into any kind of trouble, and it's a safe and quiet little town. Why on earth are you so obsessed with my safety?" She said, feeling a bit overwhelmed by Jackson's odd take on chivalry and concern.

"I care about you Evelyn, and I can't help but want to make sure nothing bad happens to you."

"First of all, that's not your job" Evelyn began. "I can take care of myself. Second, stop saying you're in love with me and that you care so much about me. You barely know me" she continued her tirade. "Third, just what bad things do you think are going to happen to me that I need protecting from?" After she finished speaking, Evelyn finished her entire drink putting the glass down on the table. She then got the attention of a passing server, and asked him to have the bar tender send her shot of whiskey.

She hadn't intended to get so upset, but everything Jackson was saying seemed to frustrate her. She felt smothered by his attention that seemed so bizarre to her. He was a stranger who just came into town, and was now suddenly professing his love and protection for her, when she was never in any danger to begin with.

Her entire life, Evelyn had fought to be independent. As she had grown and continued to lose the use of her lower extremities, that fight was an uphill battle she knew she would someday lose. To have some stranger drop into her life, claiming love and protection, she couldn't help but feel repulsed. He couldn't save her from her fate, and his strange pretense of safety only seemed to stir up her years of struggle and defeat by her illness. His attempts to make her feel wanted and protected only seemed to have the opposite effect. She felt more helpless and defeated than she had in a long time.

"Ok, let's just back up" Jackson said, trying to calm Evelyn down. "I'm sorry if you don't like what I have to say, but I'm just trying to be straightforward and honest with you. You asked why I followed you home, and I told you. I'm not going to lie to you. If you ask me something, I'm going to be honest with you. If you don't want the truth from me, then don't ask" Jackson argued defensively, then finishing his own beer, and matching her level of defiance, bringing the glass down onto the table with a hard thud.

"I think maybe we should just go our separate ways" Evelyn said after a moment of thought. She didn't really want to end things like this, but she wasn't sure what else to do. From the first time she had met Jackson, everything had been intensified around her. She wasn't sure she really wanted that level of stress and drama in her life. This conversation alone, proved that there was potential for a lot of volatility between her and Jackson.

"If that's what you want, I'll go" Jackson replied after a few intense seconds of staring into her eyes, once again making her feel as though he were staring deep into her soul. "I'll always be here for you though, if you ever change your mind" he finished, with a sigh that could only be interpreted as resignation.

Evelyn looked at him intently, trying to decide if he meant what he was saying. She wondered if he actually would leave, or if he would follow her home again. She shivered at the thought of being spied on.

Neither had spoken, and the two were just looking at each other, when the server brought Evelyn her whiskey, and let her know the bar tender had sent it as soon as she had requested it. Evelyn knew that to mean that the bar tender had sent Chris the message to come and meet her at the bar.