D E G R A D E | m . Verѕтappen

2| When the rays burn

M. Verstappen

I can barely breathe. I can't believe...no it couldn't be.

I just don't want to believe it.

She's back.

It's going to fuck up my 2026 season. She's going to...

"Hey Max, stop staring into the void mate," Lando said as he tossed his cap to hit me square in the face, "It's Sabrina isn't it?"

"Stop torturing the poor man," Charles said as he gave me a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. We were having dinner at this nice restaurant in Bahrain before the Grand Prix and I could barely even eat the food in front of me. It didn't help that Charles and Artemis were all lovey-dovey, cute but sickening, and of course the unspoken tension between Carlos and Sal that was driving me insane. Those two idiots just need to talk about their feelings but they don't.

And here I am, bursting at the seams because my past decided to bite me back in the ass. Lando gave me a concerned look and said, "Mate, just eat something. You can't be this hung over Sabrina, she left you years ago...you should be allowed to move on." Still, I couldn't answer. She had no right...she had no right to just waltz back into the sport and expect me not to waver.

She...

__

January 22, 2014: London, England

"I don't think I'm ever going to get tired of kissing you," I said as I kissed the tip of her nose, marvelling at how the freckles on her face just complimented her in such a cute way. I could get lost in the taste of her lips forever, and just hearing her laugh was enough to fill me with happiness for days.

"You are so silly, you know that, we're only 16 you know, what if in 10 years you get sick of me?," she teased as she chastely kissed me on the lips. I smirked and pulled her by the collar of her shirt to claim her lips again and said, "I'm never going to get sick of you, you know that. I can't even look at anyone else, there's only you."

She smiled, I could die now and I'd think about her smile and die happily. Sabrina straddled my lap, grinding and earning a groan from me. It was less than ideal that we were probably going to get caught if her manager decided to open the door to her hotel room but I couldn't care less. Still, even if I wanted to kiss her over and over again, I knew there was something else weighing on her mind.

"Hey, you know I would never say no to your kisses but I know your mind is elsewhere," I said as I made a mental note that she did indeed smell like the first day of summer, when the races are halfway through and the smell of the salty air of beaches hit my nose like a gentle reminder to sit down and rest. No one would ever be more like the sun like my Goldie.

"It's my mom, I'm just worried for her, she's been getting sick again and you know she had the cancer before when I was younger and...I, I'm worried it's come back," she said hesitantly as she tried to hide the sad look in her eyes. I cupped her face and gave her a kiss on the lips, instinctively I let her muzzle even deeper into my arms and said, "Goldie, I know it's worrying but let's not think of the worst. Normal people have their off days too and we both know your mom's a fighter...that's where you get it from."

She smiled, the sadness dissipating as she nuzzles deeper into my arms. "I could stay like this forever," she muttered into my chest and I smiled and said, "Really? My arm's going to be so numb once forever ends."

Sabrina laughed and punched me playfully on the chest, "You can be so stupid sometimes you know." I laughed at her antics and replied as I kissed her cheeks, "Hopefully not stupid enough to drive you away."