Tacoma Falls: Blazing Hearts

Arrangements

Maury

I stayed the night at Papa's house so we could make arrangements for Granny. I woke up, showered, dressed, and shoved a ball cap on my head. The less people saw of me, the better.

We drove to town and parked in front of the funeral home. I sat with Papa while he spoke to the funeral director. The director kept glancing at me. I lowered my head to avoid eye contact.

We finished with the funeral home and headed to Sue Ann's to eat. I sat across from Papa while people whispered. The waitress took our orders while glaring at me. Is it possible to lose your nonexistent appetite?

Papa ordered our food and stopped the waitress from glaring at me. I sank into my seat and lowered my head in shame. The waitress returned with the food and set Papa's plate before him. She tossed my plate down with food splashing on me and stormed off.

I glanced at Papa before pushing my mess of a plate away.

"You need to eat, Maury."

I leaned toward Papa. "I doubt my food is okay. It's okay. I'm not hungry."

"When's the last time you ate?"

"Yesterday."

Papa gazed at me while I lied to him. He didn't need to know I hadn't eaten anything since the night my life imploded.

"You've lost weight."

"I needed to drop a few pounds." I patted my flat stomach.

"You wouldn't eat in school. Your granny would complain about you skipping meals."

"You know how stressful school would get."

Another lie. I wouldn't eat, hoping to look better so people would talk to me. I knew I wasn't attractive. That's why Shep surprised me when he took an interest in me.

"Your granny wouldn't want us to starve ourselves."

"I'll eat when we get home."

"What do you plan to do with your house?"

"I might sell it and give the money to Shep."

"What?"

"I owe Shep for breaking his trust and heart. I already sent the money from the estate sale to him. It's still not enough. I could sell my house and car and give him the rest. What do you think?"

"Maury."

"Papa, I wrecked Shepherd. He didn't deserve what I did after offering his kindness to me."

"You need to see someone. This behavior isn't healthy."

"I'm fine. I realized people knew I was a deceitful prick. That's why they avoided me. It makes perfect sense now."

Papa's brows furrowed. "Maury."

I raised my hand before lowering it. "I promise to stay out of sight at the funeral. I don't want to draw attention away from Granny. She deserves to have people mourn over her. I deserve nothing."

Papa gazed at me with knitted brows before dropping the matter. I refuse to make Granny's funeral about me. The woman deserves people's respect. I deserve none.

*******
Shepherd

I ran to the hardware store to get supplies when I heard two people talking.

"Can you believe it?" A woman said.

"I can't believe that lying schmuck would show his face in town," another woman said.