Tacoma Falls: Blazing Hearts

Guarded

Maury

Shep and I added fruit trees to the yard. They weren't ready to produce fruit this year, but hopefully, next year. Shep dug the hole while I planted a tree before moving on to the next one.

If I focused on a project, I had less time to think about people turning on me. It made it easier to avoid the issue than confront it head-on. I didn't like confrontation and shied away from it. That's why I would agree with Maureen's lies. It was easier.

Daddy already believed her. So it didn't make a lick of difference if I disputed her. All I wanted was my daddy's love. I didn't ask for much. My heart squeezed at the thought.

"Maury? You okay?" Shep asked.

"Uh, yep." I focused on the trees to avoid a sticky subject.

"You don't seem okay."

"I'm fine. I've been thinking we need to plant these trees if we want them to root."

"Maury."

"We need to make sure no critter gets near them. I wouldn't want to disappoint my customers next year." I started for the next tree.

Shep caught my arm. "Maury."

"What, Shep?" I snapped my head to him. "What's so important that it's keeping me from getting these damn trees planted?"

"You're avoiding the bull in the yard."

I pulled my arm from Shep's hand and calmed my breathing. "I'm fine." I forced a smile. "See. I'm okay."

"You're giving me whiplash with your denial. That smile is faker than Old Woman Townsend's teeth. Now fess up."

"What do you want me to say, Shep? I worked my ass off for my daddy's love and got none in return. I didn't make a fuss. I studied real hard to become a lawyer like him. I wanted to make him proud of me. But nothing I did was good enough. I wasn't good enough. I accepted it."

Shep knitted his brows in concern. "You've always been good enough. Hell, you're better than most folk in this town."

"Not to my daddy." I walked away to haul another tree to a spot.

If Shep wanted to analyze my relationship with my daddy, I would dig the holes for the trees myself.

*******
Shepherd

Maury was good at avoiding confrontation. He spent years learning how. Even when I was a complete ass, Maury wouldn't put up a fuss. He would accept it.

It took me many counseling sessions to understand why. When you crave love, you're willing to do anything to get it, even sacrificing your happiness.

But I refuse to let Maury revert to his old behavior.

"Maury, you can't avoid confrontation," I said.

"Why not?" Maury covered the tree roots with dirt.

"It doesn't work. People have walked all over you because you refuse to confront them. Not anymore. People have no right to treat you badly."

"Shep, I don't want to argue a moot point."

"Why not?" I put my hands on my waist and cocked my head.

Maury stood up and faced me. "It wouldn't make a lick of difference if I did. It wouldn't change anything or how people treated me for years."

"Only because they had a snake whispering in their ears. The town got a good look at that snake when the girls hauled her to the town square. Maureen was a bitch. Ma never liked her."