rants

rant 52

im so fucking pissed rn

ok so my brother has an exam tmrw so my parents want to drive over to his uni to like provide support afterwards (he has mental health history)

and they're telling me to come. and some bg info i never come on the trips bc his school is 4 fucking hours away and I vomit on every road trip. usually they let me stay home but since they'll be coming after dark today they're forcing me to come

and they've forced me to come before. I told them I'd puke bc im bad with road trips. like I warned them. and then when in the car, 2nd hour I vomited. guess what? they were angry at me but helloooo I fucking told you? like i literally warned you of what would happen so what's with this behavior?

and now they're forcing me again and I know they'll get made at me for being nauseous even after multiple warnings

I just don't get the problem. you've left me alone before so what's wrong now?

they think im gonna set the fucking house on fire. that's just stupid.

and what's craziest about this is they're calling me selfish for not wanting to see my brother but if anything you guys are too fucking needy bc he's a grown ass adult. he knows what he's doing and he doesn't need mommy's hugs and kissies to motivate him

he doesn't need to call u every day. he has a life of his ow.

my mom literally comes to me crying every other day saying she misses my brother but hello?? he visits every 2 weeks? you just have attachment issues??

btw when my brother was my age they would leave him alone for days while we went on vacation. I brought that up and they're like "ur brother is responsible" no he's not?? he's the one who tried to end his life more times than I can count on my fingers and you're calling him the responsible one?

I do so much I come home from school tired im like the best in my class and you have the fucking audacity to call him the responsible one

but obviously I can't say that bc my parents can't even begin to fathom the fact my brother is a grown ass man now and he's not a child they need to baby around. if he's still having issues like that at a crucial age like this then maybe its a problem of his own he needs to fix

it's not really his fault but he's just so stubborn I have to envy him sometimes. why does he get all the support but not me

he fucked up the whole family so why can't I be mad abt that