Six Ways From Sunday

Chapter 7

 "You're deaf?" CC looked at me. "As in, you can't hear?" I nodded. "Anything?" I shook my head. "Then how the fuck have you been talking to us?"

"Cochlear implant." I wrote on the board. "That's why I wanted people on my left. That's the ear they put the implant in. But the implant became infected and had to be removed. Now I can't hear at all. At least not normal volume."

CC took the board from me, erased it, and wrote on it. "Music?"

"Vibrations." I wrote. "The drum beats, bass, guitars all give off vibrations when they play. The only thing I can't determine is vocals."

"So how do you know what you like?" CC wrote.

I smiled. "By the vibrations. Each song as a different vibration pattern. I can tell you what song is playing by the vibrations."

CC's expression sobered. "Does Andy know?" He wrote on the board. I shook my head and took the board.

"It's a long story. There's a reason I hid my deafness from everyone." I erased that message and wrote another. "I can't very well write it on a dry-erase board. I need my laptop."

"I'll call Andy and ask him to bring it with him." CC said. He left the room so he could make the call to Andy. I laid there wondering what would happen now. Ashley had shown some interest in me, took me out on a date even. Now he wouldn't want me around, I was sure of it. Ashley was type of guy who wanted to look into his lover's eyes and tell her he loved her. He wanted her to hear that he loved her and he wanted her to say it back. I might be able to say it back, but I couldn't hear him. I jumped when CC suddenly appeared before me. "Oh, sorry." He said.

"It's OK." I wrote on the board. "It'll take some getting used to." A thought crossed my mind. "Did you tell Andy about me?"

"Other than that you are in the hospital and needed to stay for a few days, no." CC wrote. He erased that message. "I figured it was your business to tell him."

"Yeah. You know, you don't have to write your messages. Just face me, I can read lips." I wrote. I erased that and wrote again. "I write because my voice sounds weird to people when I talk."

CC looked at me. "Try me." He said.

I looked at him slightly worried, then spoke out loud in my strange nasal monotone. "You'll ask me to start writing again after hearing this."

CC shook his head. "Nah. You sound fine to me. It might take a bit of getting used to, but I think we can make it work."

We talked back and forth, CC making sure he spoke slowly and carefully so I could brush up on my lip reading. I hadn't really done it since getting the implant.

"You sound a lot different when you have the implant." CC pointed out. "You sound normal."

"I can hear myself with the implant. To be honest, for the first few years of my life, I used sign language because my parents didn't know I was capable of speech. It was a teacher at my school who realized I wasn't actually mute as well as deaf." I paused for a breath, then signed something. "I still know how to sign." I translated. "My best friend is deaf and mute, so this is how we communicate. We FaceTime all the time so we can talk now that I'm here and she's in Florida."

"Wow. Was she upset when you got the implant?" CC asked me. A good question.

"No. She knew she wasn't a candidate. You have to be capable of speech and want to live in the hearing world. She doesn't want to live in the hearing world and she's not capable of speech anyway." I said.

"Can you hear at all?" Another good question.

"Just barely. If the noise is really loud, like a concert, I can hear that there is a noise, but I can't tell you what it is. If I wear hearing aids, I can hear when someone speaks to me, but I can't understand what they say. I only hear the noise. That's why I read lips as well." I thought about it for a moment. "I was a candidate for the implant because I would benefit from it. I'm considered profoundly deaf, but I can speak and I can hear, I just need more help than a hearing aid can give me."

"So how does this affect your love life?" CC asked with a knowing grin.

"It kills it. At least with Ash. I know him well enough to know that he wants to be able to look me in the eyes, tell me he loves me, and have me hear him. He wants to be able to whisper it in my ear and know I heard him say it. Now that won't happen." I sighed. Now I'd never be able to tell if Ashley might have been my one true love.

"Come one, you don't think he'd be able to adapt?" CC asked me. "I've known him longer than you have. I think he could adapt to you being deaf."

I shook my head. "I don't think so. I've seen him with girls before. He loves to whisper in their ear. He loves to sing to them. He loves to do things that he won't be able to do with me." It actually made me sad to think that I wouldn't have a chance with him now that I wasn't able to hear anymore.

CC put his finger to his lips and got up to look out in the hallway. When he came back, he shook his head. "Sorry, I thought I heard Andy. I wanted to make sure it was him and I wanted to make sure he was alone if it was. I wasn't sure if you wanted to tell Ashley just yet."

"Not really. I don't mind if Juliet is with Andy though. She needs to know. I do live with them." Another sobering thought, I couldn't move out of Andy and Juliet's house unless I had a hearing roommate to live with. Living on my own would no longer be possible unless modifications were made to the place I lived in. I had to have a way to know when my phone rang, when someone was at my door, and if the fire alarm was going off. "I'll be living with them for a long time I guess."

At CC's questioning gaze, I explained. "Apartments and houses are set up for people who can hear. Doorbells, telephones, fire alarms all give off noise as their indicators. Deaf people can't hear any of that, obviously, so I require either a hearing roommate or special modifications made so I can tell when the phone or doorbell ring and when the fire alarm goes off."

"So you'll never live alone?" CC asked. "Never?"

"Not as long as I don't have an implant." I sighed. "Oh well, I'm so used to having other people in the house with me, I doubt I'd like living alone anyway. But if Andy and Juliet get married or have kids, I'll have get find another place to live." I didn't really want to think about that and frankly, if it was going to happen, it wasn't going to be for a few more years at least.

CC got up and checked the hallway again. He came back looking a bit worried. A few seconds later, but before I had a chance to as what was up, I saw why. Andy came in the room with my laptop under his arm. Ashley followed him into the room.